New Love

Chapter 44: Jay

The room was spinning. I felt like I was falling. My head pounded, my hands were sticky and the smell of iron filled the air.

"Can someone tell me her name please?" A cop was asking. I knew I was supposed to answer. But I couldn't find my words.

"Lucy Diaz." Either Mia or Ashley answered.

"And what happened here tonight?"

"I went to the kitchen for a glass of water." Mia was saying. "And I found her like that."

"Is this the first time something like this has happened?"

"No." I found my voice. The cop turned to look at me. "Last semester. She slit her wrist in the bathtub. But called me before she did, so I was able to get to her in time."

"And you are?"

"J...Jason Greene." I managed to say.

"Are you involved with the young lady?"

I shook my head. "No. Not anymore. We broke up."

"I see." He wrote something down in his notepad.

"Do you know who her next kin is?"

"Her brother. Troy." I answered. "I'll call him."

"I think that's a good idea. We will take her to UT Medical Center, have him meet her there." He nodded and closed his pad, leaving the apartment.

"Where's Emily?" I asked. Mia pointed towards her bedroom. I was glad she wasn't out here. I know she saw what had happened, but I knew I couldn't comfort her right now with what had just happened. I wiped my hands on my pants, trying to get rid of some of the blood.

"Here." Ashley handed me a wet washcloth. I rubbed it over my hands trying to wipe the blood away.

"Will you check on her?" I asked.

Ashley nodded. "I will."

"Thanks." I shoved the rag in my pocket. "I have to go."

"Jay, wait..." Ashley called after me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I was numb inside and I had her blood on my hands. The puddle of blood got bigger and bigger every time I closed my eyes. How much blood could someone lose and still live? Surely not that much.

I left the apartment and jogged down the stairs. I dialed Troy's number as I hit the lobby. It rang once and went to voicemail.

"Troy, you need to fucking call me back right fucking now!" I hope he heard the panic and desperation in my voice.

I burst through the doors, into the cool night air. I crossed the street to my truck. I threw open the door and grabbed the gym bag I kept in the front seat. I quickly took off the blood covered khaki pants and pulled on my gym shorts and threw on the extra shirt. I found a pair of flip flops and slipped them on my bare feet. Once I wasn't covered in Lucy's blood I leaned over the truck bed, taking in a few deep breaths. I reared my fist back and hit the hard metal. I felt the sting in my knuckles and it took away some of the ache in my heart, so I hit it again.

"Jay," I heard Emily's voice. I turned around and she was standing in the middle of the road, hugging her arms across her chest. I felt something inside me break seeing her standing there. In two strides I was in front of her. I gathered her in my arms and held her close. I closed my eyes and started to cry as she held me.

"It's okay, baby." she soothed. "Everything is going to be okay. It has to be." I heard her voice break.

"It's all my fault." I sobbed, gathering her closer.

"No it's not." She stroked my head. "You aren't to blame for any of this."

I loved her. I loved her so much for being strong for me. For standing here with me as I lost it on her shoulder.

"I knew this would happen." I let her go and took a step back, wiping my eyes. "I knew it would. But I fell for you. I fell in love with you and I don't know where to go from here."

"Please don't blame yourself for this." Tears welled up in her eyes. "If any one is to blame then it's me."

"That's not true." I shook my head, reaching out and taking her hand.

She nodded. "It is. I should have left you alone when I realized you were involved with someone. I shouldn't have pursued this with you."

"I'm the one who pursued you." I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on top of hers. "Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this happening. I don't regret anything that happened between us."

"Why does it feel like we are breaking up?"

"I don't know." I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I didn't want this to end with her, but I couldn't ask her to keep going through this. This was my burden to carry.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me tight. I knew she was crying. I could feel her tears penetrating through my shirt into my heart. I cried too, holding her for what I hoped wasn't the last time.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. Eventually, my phone rang, breaking us apart.

"Troy." I said to her before I answered the phone. I walked to the truck bed, leaving her behind.

"Why the hell are you calling me at two in the morning?" Was his greeting.

"She tried to kill herself again. You need to be on the next plane down here."

"I don't appreciate you telling me what I need to do, Greene."

"This is your sister, Troy. She needs help. Help that I can't give her."

"I'll see what I can do." The line went dead and I wanted to throw the phone across the parking lot. Instead I turned back around. Emily was still leaning up against the truck where I had left her. I walked back to her and rubbed her shoulders. I leaned my head against hers.

"No matter what, just remember I love you." I told her. I didn't want her to forget it.

Before she could answer, my phone buzzed.

Troy: Flight leaves at 5am. Arrival in Knoxville at 9.

Troy: Be there to pick me up.

"Troy's on the next flight down." I took her hand and entwined it with mine. "I have to pick him up."

Emily nodded through her tears. "Do... do you want me to come with you?"

A lump had formed in my throat. I shook my head. "No. I have to do this alone."

"Okay." she said quietly. "But, Jay, I'm here if you need me."

"I know." I wrapped her in my arms and kissed the top of her head. "Come on. Let's go get a few hours of sleep."