New Love

Chapter 50:Jay

I knew before Ashley came back up the steps alone that she was gone. I had fucked things up again. I had spent the past week coming up with what I would say to her if I ever got the chance to see her again.

But what had I done when I saw her? I let my dick do the talking. For a moment, while I was inside her, it felt like everything might be okay. It felt like I had my girl back. But as soon as it was over and she climbed off me, I knew I had fucked up. I saw her walls going back up.

I was the one who was supposed to have walls built up. I was the one who was closed off. Emily was vibrant and a ray of sunshine. She broke my walls and made me vulnerable. Vulnerable to her and I fell head over heels for her. Now, I knew I was the one who had taken away her sunshine. I was an asshole and had no idea how I could possibly make this right.

"Why are you still sitting here?" Ashley asked. It took me a moment to realize she was talking to me. "Go get your girl."

I shook my head. "I don't think she wants me."

"Not you too." she threw a cushion at me. "One of you have to stop being so damn hard headed and actually start talking."

"I tried to ..."

"Clearly not hard enough." Ashley crossed her arms over her chest. "Now get up, go downstairs and get her back."

I looked over at Will for support. He just shrugged.

"I wouldn't argue with her. You never win."

I ran my hands through my hair and stood. All or nothing. Maybe she would listen this time.

As I headed down the steps back into the crowded club, I glanced to the bar, hoping to see her there. When I didn't, I didn't bother looking on the dance floor. I knew she wasn't there. Instead I exited the club and started walking. I had a feeling I knew where I would find her.

Sure enough, when I walked into the park, I spotted her sitting on the bench, our bench, in front of the fountains. I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked towards her. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, or if she would even listen. But I knew I had to give it one last shot.

I sat down beside her. She glanced over at me, but quickly looked back at the fountain. At least she didn't bolt. I didn't touch her, or reach out for her. We just sat there in silence as I worked out what I wanted to say to her.

I decided to open with a little bit of humor. I pulled her ripped thongs from my pocket and held them out. "I thought you might want these back."

"They're ripped." she sniffled. "Just like my heart."

Shit. That punched me right in the gut. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." I took a strand of her hair in between my fingers, twirling it around.

"You didn't hurt me. You broke me."

Another kick, this time right in the heart. I winced

"I never meant to do that either."

We sat in silence for another few minutes.

"How did you know where to find me?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Just a hunch." The truth, I had zero doubt that this is where she would come after what went down back in the club. I knew as long as I was right and I found her here that I still had a chance. A chance to make this right.

"You know why this can't continue between us, right?" She picked invisible lint off her skirt.

"It can if we want it too."