Chapter 49: Emily

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When I got back to the apartment, it was quiet and empty. I was glad because I didn't have it in me to explain to Mia why I was cutting class again and why I was sobbing.

I had lied to him. I had lied and told him he meant nothing to me. Nothing had ever been further from the truth. I dropped my bag and grabbed the bottle of Vodka and a bag of Cheetos from the counter and retreated to my room. I unscrewed the top on the Vodka and turned it up. I needed something to numb me. Vodka usually did the trick.

Today it didn't. I lay in bed, on sheets that still smelled like him, wearing his shirt and clutching his tie. I eventually found the bottom of the bottle, but it only made my head spin and my stomach churn. Every thought was of him.

His smile, his intense blue eyes. The way I felt when he kissed me. I wanted to hear him laugh again. I wished I could lay in his arms and fall asleep.

Eventually sleep overcame me, or more likely, I finally passed out. Even with my eyes closed, I dreamed of him.

The days started to blur together. I didn't go to class. I couldn't face him. I stayed in bed, finishing off another pint of Vodka and the bag of Cheetos. I eventually started vomiting. Turns out Cheetos and Vodka aren't the best combination. I managed to wash my face before crawling back in bed. But I could care less about anything else. No one was coming to see me.

After the third, or was it the fourth day of trying to drown my sorrows, persistent knocking woke me from my restless sleep.

"Go away." I yelled, hoping whoever was at the door would do just that.

Instead the door creaked open and Ashley stuck her head in.

"You're making it a habit of telling me to go away."

I groaned and pulled the comforter over my head.

"Come on. Get up." She sat down beside me and patted my back.

"No." I rolled over, turning my back to her. She yanked the covers off and I tried to grab them back, but she threw them on the floor. It took too much effort to crawl down and get it.

"Em, you smell like Vodka and vomit. It's time to get up and get in the shower."

"I don't want to." I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping she would leave so I could go back to sleep.

"Too bad. This ends tonight." Ashley grabbed my hand and started trying to pull me out of bed. I didn't have the strength or the energy to fight her. "You've been moping in here by yourself for a week. It's time you get out and face the world."

"A week?" I had definitely lost track of time. This just shows how fully he broke me. I've never closed myself off like this because of a break up. I've never drank two whole bottles of Vodka after one either, but the evidence on the floor shows that's exactly what had happened.

Mia stepped into the room, holding out her phone. "Here, someone wants to talk to you."

I shook my head, afraid I would hear his voice on the other end.

"Emily Grace Williams!" I heard Erin screech as Mia put her on speaker phone. "You don't call, you don't write, and I have to hear from Mia that you've locked yourself in your room for a week."

"Now get your skinny ass up out of that bed and into the shower."

"Erin, I can't...

"Don't give me that shit." she scolded. "Yes you can."

"He broke me." I started to sob. Ashley put her arm around my shoulders.

"Well, it's time to start picking up the pieces and putting yourself back together. I know you really liked this one, but you can't retreat into a shell like this."

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