SEBASTIAN AND HIS ZAZI

chapter 29: mumbi's inner dialogue

Mumbi felt her daughter was playing with fire. She just had a feeling it wouldn't end well.

Everyone else in the house however thought the world of this and was calling zazi mrs Sebastian. They thought their love was real and would change alot of things.

Mumbi remembered how sebastian helped her husband when he was sick.

Maybe he wouldn't that bad? He claimed zazi infront of everyone. But did that mean zazi would be accepted? Did that mean she would be loved?

Or would she just be miserable. She wished she found love in the village. Not that people hadn't tried to approach her. People came far and wide asking for the beautiful zazi's hand in marriage each expressing their wealth and promise of a good life the moment she turned 18.

They were still traditional and your father chose the man he felt was right for you. If he felt this man was good enough for you he would give you the go ahead. If he didn't, he wouldn't even let him near her. There were those who met outside the father. But you still had to go through the father to marry her.

But  even when ngesa liked the men, zazi was as cold as her a snake's skin. She always found something she didn't like about them,

'He's too short.... Now this one is too tall..... He is too big... He is too small..
He's got a lot of hair.... He is too hairless.... Some would be as simple as, 'i don't like him'

She had no time for anyone with such requests. She even ignored a free slaves who was well off that the rest of them.

She was just never interested and she wasn't the type to change her mind easily.

If she says its right, its right. If she says left she goes left. Always a person of her words

. So if she said she loved this man, it was true. Those were words she never told anyone else before. She was glad she found someone she told to but she wished she could have waited till marriage before getting intimate, it would have been more special.

But she couldn't really control her to tell her not to. She advised her but there is so much you can do. She was a virgin on her wedding night. Her red stain was celebrated. Her daughter's red stain caused a break up. She just remained quiet in thought. Wondered what would happen if this man married her. And what would happen if he left her instead. She imagined all scenarios. What about the  babies? Would the village accept them? Unless sebastian takes her away. Where the children  can be accepted and remain safe. She just took a deep breathe and decided to just leave it to the gods. What they think is best for their daughter is what will happened.

She would not stress herself about the future. It was all in the hands of were. He who knows the future and is carefully planing it for everyone of his children. It is best to trust him. And were, did not not owe anyone anything. He gives and takes as he pleases.

You cannot demand anything from him. You just pray his wishes be done. Even when it does not favor you.