Two training idols meeting for the first time. A friendship blooming against adversity.
The birth of WooSan.
***
"And then, you will go home and you will think of daddy, will you?"
This is one of the moments in which I don't know exactly what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it. I swore to myself I wouldn't get too attached to this boy. I swore to myself I would be careful, I would go slow. And now I'm staring at his dimples, his captivating smile and his deep eyes and I can't seem to look away for a single second. I want to dive in into his kiss again and it's precisely what I'm going to do. Our lips meet once more and his touch on my skin burns. My hands start unbuttoning his shirt, but he halts me.
"No. Let's stop here for today. I want to remember these kisses and these only."
"You sure? It could be the day for many first things."
"I'm sure. I'm sorry if you're craving for more."
"I can survive. And it's a no if you're not up to it anyway. It just surprised me, that's all."
"I told you, I'm full of surprises. Besides, no one said we have to end our kissing session, you know."
He flashes his brightest smile and I, once again, completely fall for it. I don't know how much experience he's had in his life, but San knows how to seduce and draw you to him; and even though you may notice what he's doing, you can't but follow him into his trap because he's just that handsome and assertive. The kiss we're sharing feel precious and sensual at the same time, and I lose myself into it. It's been fucking ages since I've sensed anything like this.
"San..."
"Yes?"
"I'm enjoying this too much."
"I don't understand."
"What are you doing to me? I'm... scared."
"Me too. It might mean this has some implications, so to speak. More than we initially intended. You get what I mean?"
"That's why I'm scared. I don't know if I'm ready."
"No one ever know before they truly are. And as I said before, just live it, don't overthink it."
"It's not like I can control it, though."
"Let's put it like this. Do you like skin contact with me, does it make you feel better?"
"Yes, it does."
"Would you do it in front of our friends?"
"Why not. It's not like they would judge anyway."
"Then do it and don't worry about the why and what. That's for another day. Deal?"
"Deal."
"Now give me another kiss, princess."
The pet name makes me blush and he smiles at me sweetly; there's no trace of his dominating side now, only tenderness and the will to make me feel at home in his arms.
***
𝕊𝕒𝕟
We could go on for hours like this: none of us wants to pull away and end the moment. I understand Wooyoung's concerns all too well, because they are also mine. The last time I've been in a steady relationship the finale was a complete catastrophe which didn't live up to my expectations. What assures me if we turn this into a love story it won't backfire the same exact way? We could ruin a friendship, the group, the newborn project at KQ. Quite much is at stake here. But what I do know for certain is you miss every shot you don't take, and for once I must love myself enough and allow myself to have something good for my soul. Too often I feel like I don't deserve anything and anyone. It has to end.
"Brooding much? What are you thinking about, San?"
"Same as you. Me. Us. I know I literally just told you not to do it. But I'm better at giving advice than following it."
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"I don't want to ruin the mood. Let's save the discussion for another day. 'kay?"
"Fine by me. I don't want to force you into a conversation you're not ready to have."
"You know you look ridiculously cute, right?"
He blushes, but he's flattered, I can tell. "Way to change the topic. Thanks. I know."
"But you like being told, I suppose. I will tell you as many times you want, Wooyoung."
"Never enough. I enjoy all the attention I can get. I'm such a brat, if I'm honest."
"I noticed. You're lucky I enjoy giving all the attention I can. I love to spoil. Such a couple, uh?"
"Looks like it. Say, can we go out for a coffee? I'm dying for an Americano. And if I give you another kiss I might actually jump you."
"Noted. Let's get you some caffeine, and me some tea, before this degenerates quickly."
***
How much I savor my time with Wooyoung, even just walking while sipping some drink, it's so simple it's stupid. He starts talking and ranting about people at KQ and I find myself smiling while looking at him gesticulating with fervour. He doesn't even notice my stare, that's how much he is into what's he's saying. I don't even know what he's talking about, I'm just lost in his eyes.
"San? Did you hear what I just said?"
"No, yeah. I was thinking, do I walk you home? I don't even know where you live."
"It's quite a distance from here, but it's doable. Only thing is, then you have to go all the way back. Isn't it a bit much?"
"Nah, I can jog home. Some more training won't be bad for me. The tea made me hyper. To your place it is, then."
"Thanks. For this, and... for the day. For the kisses, for making me feel good. I had't felt quite like this for... a while."
"Me neither. That's the power you have over me. Use it wisely... please."
My last sentence was weird, or so it sounded to me, and we both fall silent for the rest of the walk. We arrive to a tall building in another district of Seoul, not too distant from KQ.
"My apartment is here, fourth floor. I'd invite you in, but it's a mess and the jumping part is still a thing, yeah. I need a cold shower."
"It's okay. You'll show me another time. See you tomorrow."
We hug tight. I feel the urge to kiss him again, but it's daytime and people are walking down the street. It's not that common to see two men kissing in Seoul to this day, and we're not even a proper couple yet. I don't want to put pressure on him, so I refrain from doing so. It hurts a bit.
"San?"
"Yes?"
"I will use it wisely. I promise."
I smile and he turns away, entering the building, then the elevator inside it. When he's out of sight, I start jogging my way back to my place.
I might need a cold shower too.
***
Author's note: hello fellas! Deep diving into emotions in this chapter. The next one is going to be a spotlight for Ateez instead. Hope you're enjoying the ride, I'm having fun writing, that's for sure!
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