Chapter 38 ○ 1, 2, 3, Let's Burn

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𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔: Answer

𝕎𝕠𝕠𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘

Ever since Weekly Idol, San has been acting weird. I wouldn't say he's been avoiding me, but when I point out the fact he's absent minded and distracted, he just says he's probably just tired by our busy schedule and all the filming we've been through. I don't buy it, although I don't think I've done anything wrong to him these days. He's not angry or pissed off, either, he's just... not himself. I can't quite picture it.

"Hyung? Have you talked to San lately?"

Yeosang looks at me with questioning eyes. "Yes? What's up?"

"I don't know, he's been strange with me. I tried talking to him, but it didn't work. I was thinking maybe he opened up to you instead."

"I'm sorry, Youngie. Nothing useful to add, I'm afraid. Maybe he's really just stressed out."

That 'maybe' is dragged down by San's attitude at our next rehearsals, when I'm attempting at eye contact, but he's seemingly avoiding even that. At this point, I'm quite sure there is something wrong between us. Did he regret his words during Weekly Idol? Is he concerned they could harm us and the group some way? I need to address this after training. Hours and hours later, we're all going for the showers. Before San undresses, I decide to stop him and finally talk things out.

"San. Please, talk to me. You're giving me the cold shoulder."

"No, I'm not?"

"It wasn't a question."

"Well, I'm sorry. It isn't my intention. I must be..."

"...tired, you told me. But you wouldn't even look at me in the last four hours, you can't tell me something isn't wrong. Does it have to do with the Weekly Idol incident? What you said about us?"

San ponders about it. For too damn long, if you ask me. "Now that you mention it, yes, it did make me wonder. I think... I think we should talk about it."

"OK? Then... let's do it. Please. I can't stand this tension between us."

"Not yet, I'm sorry, Woo. I have to consider some stuff before we do. Give me one more day. Just one. Then, we'll talk."

"Fair enough. Just one thing. Do I have to worry?"

For the first time in days, he looks me dead in the eyes.

"Maybe." He breaks eye contact and scoffs. "Can I shower, now?"

"Sorry."

This will be the longest day of my life.

Tick.

Tock.

I feel the passing of every single second. It flows so slowly, I swear the clock hands are carving themselves into my skin instead of moving. Maybe. He said maybe. Does he want to break up? No, I can't believe it. Does he want to slow down? But he was the one to say we shouldn't worry in the first place. I don't understand. I don't understand.

***

"San? Can we talk?"

He's nervous, it's obvious. And I don't like it one bit.

"Sure. Give me a second."

He goes into his room; I don't see what he's doing, but I can hear him drinking water, then returning where I am. He still doesn't look me in the eyes.

"San, I don't know what is going on, but let's cut the crap. This has been the worst day ever for me and I can't possibly imagine what you want to tell me. You put the fear of god into me with that 'maybe' yesterday, and you were the one to speak up about us and for us at Weekly Idol. You confuse me. I'm confused. And I'm scared as hell."

"Wooyoung. I was confused too. When we were filming, saying those words came naturally. I didn't have to think twice. It was the right thing to do and if that's what's on your mind, no, I don't regret saying them. If I found myself in the same position now, I would say the same exact words."

"Then... what's wrong? Why should I be worried?"

"Just... let me finish, okay? I want to say something first."

"I'm sorry. I'm nervous."

"I am too. Very." His eyes are glossy, almost watery. It confuses me even further. "I would say them again. But thinking about what I said, and how naturally I said that, it made me wonder." He pauses, and looks at the ceiling for some seconds. He's tearing up. "I don't want to lose you, Woo, ever. You're my soulmate, my everything. You're my last thought when I go to sleep at night, the first thing I want to see when I wake up in the morning. You take care of me. I love it when you cook me breakfast and you wait for me to tell you that it's all so good I could eat it all day. I love it when you give me little kisses on the nose and on the lips as if you're shy, in front of the others. You're my babygirl. I love it when you act cute and then laugh about it. Oh, I adore your dolphin laugh, and when you clap while you laugh wholeheartedly. I love your smile and putting your hair behind your ears and... baby, I love everything about you."

"Why... why are you telling me this?" I'm blushing, and it shows.

"Because I want it to be very clear why I'm about to do this."

And suddenly, he drops on his knee.

"Oh my fucking god."

"Wooyoung. I know we legally can't. But I don't care. What I do care about is what we are to each other, what we mean to each other. Jung Wooyoung. Will you be my husband?"

He pulls out a small velvet black box. He opens it, and inside there are not one, but two golden rings. I look at them and then at him in disbelief.

"A-are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious my whole life."

"But how... w-we can't..."

"I told you, I know. It's sad, but it is what it is. We still can consider ourselves married if we want to, until this country decides we finally can. Or we can elope to another one. Your choice. There's a hundred ways to do this, and not a single wrong one. Because I still get to be with the most wonderful man to walk this Earth."

"San..."

"Hmm?"

"I know the answer."

I take the rings, put mine on.

"I do."

***

Author's note: okay folks, I had been planning this for quite a while and I decided to wrap this book at 40 chapters, so here's that. It will be sad to finish it, but I also don't want to drag it. I won't be stopping my Woosan madness though: I just started another book, called "WONDERLAND - Woosan Oneshots" which only has one chapter up by now, called Outlaw. It's around 4,000 words long, every chapter is a closed story. The first one is inspired by the Bouncy MV. If you want to read it, it's here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/344346003 

Don't forget to keep on streaming the Bouncy MV, it's important to give the guys our support, and also vote for them on all the apps like Starplanet, Idolchamp, Mubeat and Mnet! Fighting!

Don't forget to keep on streaming the Bouncy MV, it's important to give the guys our support, and also vote for them on all the apps like Starplanet, Idolchamp, Mubeat and Mnet! Fighting!

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