Two training idols meeting for the first time. A friendship blooming against adversity.
The birth of WooSan.
***
"And then, you will go home and you will think of daddy, will you?"
It's been two weeks since Wooyoung has left us, the dormitory, and KQ. He hasn't officially resigned yet, but everything has been radio silent. He doesn't answer to my calls. I've left a million voicemails, until he blocked my number, that is. I don't know where he is, I don't know how he's doing. I'm spiraling and now I feel frozen too, like he did on that one day. I dream about him, I dream he just randomly shows up at the door and say 'hey, I'm back' and we get lost in an embrace that speaks more than words. But then I wake up, and he's still gone. It hurts so much I can barely get out of bed in the morning. Mingi is worried about me. I don't care.
Hongjoong and Seonghwa keep on making me the one in charge for grocery shopping, so that I actually get out of the dormitory, breathe some fresh air. Whatever makes them happy. I use that as an excuse to visit as many mini and super markets in as many parts of Seoul as possible. As if I could actually run into Wooyoung someday. It's thin hope, but still hope. It keeps me going and it's enough. Today, I walk for twenty minutes and take the subway, I'm very far from our place. I stare at each and every face that I see. They're like clues to me, like a pirate map to the most precious of treasures. What a fool. I'm picking up some daikon when I finally see a well known face. But it's not Wooyoung, no. It's Dongyoung.
"Dongyoung-hyung? Is it you?"
"Yes?"
"I thought it was you. What a relief to see you. I've been trying to reach Wooyoung for weeks but he doesn't answer my calls... how is he doing?"
"Not good, if I'm honest. He's struggling, he doesn't want to eat, he has trouble sleeping. I've never seen him in this state. I'm worried. But we will work it out, we always do."
My heart clenches at his words. "I'm... sorry to hear that. Say... he hasn't talked about me, has he?"
"Who are you, pardon me? I didn't catch the name."
That settles it. I feel destroyed. "Never mind. It was stupid of me to even ask. I hope he feels better soon. Have a good day."
I bow and quickly grab not half the stuff I was supposed to buy. I feel my eyes burning from the tears I do not want to cry, not in a public place, and especially not in front of Wooyoung's older brother. Not only he's a wreck, he also hasn't spoken a word about me to Dongyoung. He blocked my number, he doesn't want to hear from me. It's quite clear where we're standing. And here I thought I could be the one changing things for him. Instead, I'm nothing special, just as he told me that day, before leaving. I go back home, feeling crumbling inside. When everything I bought is put in its place, I go into the training room and dance, dance, dance. I dance to upbeat music with everything I have, with all the strength and stamina I store in my body, until each muscle hurt and tells me to stop, but I don't. I keep on dancing, and dancing, until I crumble to the floor and cry everything I need to cry out.
***
𝕐𝕖𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕘
I can hear San sobbing downstairs, but I'm not sure whether he needs comforting now, or time alone. It's not really easy to tell, especially when I am a totally different person than him. It's not easy for me to understand. I want to be a good friend, though, so I'll risk being thrown something or whatever instead of doing nothing.
Ping.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
