Curiosity Kills the Cat (An IDFB Fanfic)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30
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It's cold
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It hadn't been more than 3 days, and her mind was festered with the feeling.

Leafy dared not say the name, despite already having identified it; some part of her fearing she'd lose control of herself if she even muttered the word out loud. No longer was her dread stuck on losing her mind with isolation, but instead was fixated on her newfound revaluation. It was an ache of desire and amusement, something she hadn't felt for so long.

And she hated it. Her mind would run in circles, trailing back to the boy and his smile. A smile so perfect she hated it. Yet she felt her heart flutter at the image. How he'd ruffle his hair and laugh.

Something about him was warm in ways she couldn't describe.

Her back fell to the ground from where she was sitting, staring at the inky abyss that was space. The twinkling stars kept her head clear, even if it was momentarily.

Truthfully, she didn't detest the feeling, despite her insistence. It was warm and giddy, something she longed for. Maybe it was the closeness she wanted, especially for someone who spoke to no one. Just to murmur with someone in the dark and giggle with them.

For moments, she'd picture his hand entwined with hers, watching the sunset. Maybe a bit too idealistic, but she fathomed it. It was a sweet dose of bliss that left her wanting more. She'd feed the feeling, disregarding the words she consistently repeated: "I can't feel anything for him!"

Leafy sat up, her hands unconsciously clutching the grass in frustration.

"I just can't."

She tiptoed around the word, the simplicity of it making it difficult to pull away from the torment that buzzed in her mind.

The girl had known to not get too attached to him, but his persistence didn't help either. Every time she had pushed him away, he came back, trying to assist with whatever problem she had. Even if it was just to talk, she liked it. He always seemed to bring a sense of ease with him. A calm that was like a soft violin in the wind.

She could feel her hand trembling, whether it be from the cold or anxiety she didn't know. What she did know was this feeling was more than unwelcome. Even though she didn't hate it, it wasn't right.

"I can't."

The words stung, despite it being brief, but it was her reality. The more she thought about it, the more she detested the notion of her reality. Stuck in an infatuation with a guy she hardly talked to, and her head wouldn't let it rest. She would have preferred solitude over her current situation; anything to avoid feeling it.

It was too much for her, always reeling in the dreaded memories she'd buried long ago.

A blast of the past with no sense of boundaries, agonizing and taunting even. The sheets of paper scattered across the ground, the pencil's wobbly line as they played Tic-Tac-Toe over the grass, the lead stabbing through the paper. It was all too vivid for her liking.

Leafy hung her head low in frustration, growling at herself. She didn't hate Coiny, but she was going to deny her feelings for him.

"We are not thinking about this anymore." She pushed herself off the ground, quickly getting to her feet. As she did, her sight faltered to Coiny's jacket, which was hung on a bush. The fire almost made it glow in the night's darkness. He'd given it to her that night, they had bumped into each other. And she had insisted to Coiny to take his sweater back once they reached the campfire, trying to rid the feelings behind an airy facade. Instead, her face got warmer than usual when he responded, "Nah. You can keep it. I have another one at home. "