𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

F A R R I S

After fooling around in Reed's room the other day, we were on our way to mine when her phone went off. At the time, I wanted to grab it from her hand before she had a chance to read whatever interruption awaited us next, chucking it across the street. Obviously, I didn't, and the sigh that came out of her mouth told me all that I needed to know.

"I'm so sorry, Fare," She said because there was no explanation, no excuse necessary. We both knew that we were going to have to get together another night.

I shrugged because I didn't want to open my mouth and risk her feeling guiltier than she already did because of whatever may come out of my mouth. After a kiss goodbye, we parted ways and I was left alone in my room to sulk. Xander came back two hours later, finding me on the couch, eating a bag of chips instead of dinner, and watching Reed's favorite show.

"Wow. You look like you just got dumped," He said and I flinched.

"Don't joke about that," I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the tv so he couldn't perceive me as easily.

"Um...you two were messing around a couple hours ago and you're already sensitive over potentially breaking up? What the fuck did I miss?" He asked, sitting down next to me and I sighed, pausing the tv.

"She's just really busy. And our schedules don't really line up. We have one class together and that's pretty much when I see her nowadays."

"She hasn't been the team captain for that long, she has to be able to balance it out in time, you have to give her that."

"I know what I have to do, it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. I'm in a demanding enough course, and hers is even worse, but we always spent our free time together. And we still do, but she doesn't have any free time together. I'm allowed to be upset about it."

"You sound so clingy. Who even are you?" He laughed, putting his hand on my shoulder. I knew he was just joking around and trying to lighten my mood, but it stung nonetheless. Having your girlfriend and your best friend be the same person is a blessing and a curse.

On Friday night, because Reed is busy with a group project anyway, I stay in to finish up any assignments I can to get on top of my school work. Come Saturday morning, I'm caught up enough to ask Xander for his car, and I just drive.

Despite the slight chill in the air, I'm in a t-shirt with the windows down, enjoying the breeze and the sunlight. My skin is fair and freckled, which means it burns quite easily, but that's at the back of my mind as I try to focus on the road ahead of me and nothing else.

Eventually, I find a nice beach that isn't too crowded, and I decide to stop there. I grabbed a beach towel on my way out, taking only that, my wallet, and the keys, leaving my phone behind. Breathing in the salty air calms my mind slightly, and the sand beneath me is warm and comfortable to walk on, almost soft.

Even though I'm alone, I feel less lonely here than I have in a while, even when surrounded by friends, classmates, and other gymnasts in my group. Choosing to be alone feels different somehow, and though I feel anxious the second I think about it again, I think that leaving my phone in my dorm was the right choice.

Though, I probably should have directly told someone that I was planning to be gone for the entire day. Instead, I left a note on the counter for Xander to find when he woke up. I feel guilty when I realize it may have been spite driving me not to inform Reed that I'd be unplugged for the day, because though we don't see each other in person as often, we try to stay in touch by texting or calling between classes. When she's free.

I get the sudden urge to speak aloud to myself but quickly quash that down because it seems uncomfortable. Out of my comfort zone. A look around me shows a few shops behind me, the other side of the street filled with adorable beach houses as far as the eye can see. Standing up, I make my way into one of the shops and peruse.