𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

C H A R L O T T E

My eyes open to the familiar sight of the white ceiling, and it takes a few moments for me to register the pressure on my hand. Looking down, I see Alexander at my side, the place he seems to be most often. I wonder how he manages to live his life at my bedside, but I know that I'm asleep most of the time.

I feel like I've been hit by a truck, but the smile on my face lingers every time a doctor or nurse makes a positive remark about my recovery. I'm bored as all hell, but I'm alive. And my hair seems to be holding on, so there's that as well.

"Morning," I hear the quiet voice of my brother and I have to stifle a laugh at the sight of him in the bed beside mine so soon after he'd left it. He glares at me.

"I'm sorry, it's not funny. The timing though," I smile and he shakes his head but he can't control his own either. Our words wake Alexander from his sleep and he blinks his deep brown eyes up at me, his dark eyelashes bat the sleep away and have me transfixed.

If I wasn't bedridden, I'd climb him like a tree. It's good to know that my desire for him hasn't gone away thanks to the situation. I may not ever be able to have kids, but once I'm out of here I'm prepared to finally jump Alexander's bones. I've heard that practicing is the fun part anyway.

For now, I'm happy looking at his handsome face. Especially when he's looking at me the way he does. With warm, gentle eyes that soften as they trace over me, full of empathy and adoration when only a few short months ago, I thought I'd only ever see them from afar. Even with his mask on, I can see his cheeks move as his mouth perks up in the corners when he catches me looking at him and I smile back.

"You should go shower before class," I tell him and he pouts a little, but then his scrunches up in a yawn and he covers it up by face-planting onto the sheets at my side. My hand finds his soft hair and I run my fingers through it, receiving a pleased groan from him.

"If I must," He says but doesn't move a muscle.

"Alexander."

"One more minute of this. It's so nice," He practically purrs and I can't say no, loving what such a small action does to him. A minute passes. Two minutes. After three, I grip his thick hair and pull his head up to face me, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Getting up," He says, making me let go as he stands to his full height and towers over the hospital bed. "Bye Aaron," He says to my brother.

"Cheers," Aaron says back, his voice lax from the pain meds they've got him on.

"I'll be back later," He says to us both and leans down one more time to put his masked face so close to mine. "I love you," He says and it takes everything in me not to ask him to stay. Because I know that he would.

"Love you," I murmur, letting him walk away and drop my hand, watching his every step until he's out of sight.

"You two are disgusting," Aaron remarks and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Called her yet?" I easily switch the topic and he gives me a deadpan expression.

"Stop asking. No. I'm not making her come to the hospital to talk with me after I—"

"After you what, stood up for yourself? Rejected her? Are you scared she won't come?"

"She didn't fight for me...why would she now?"

"Maybe she would have. You'll never know," I say, ripping off the bandaid. "You can't go back, you can't take it back, you can't play a different outcome. Stop with the what-ifs and just make something happen already. Give the people what they want," I throw that last bit in to lighten the mood and it does the trick.

"You're the people. Nobody else cares quite so much."

"I bet our parents would if they knew," I tease and he narrows his eyes at me. It's like looking into a mirror.

"What would you tell them exactly?" He challenges me.

"First I'd send a picture. Then, I'd tell them about how you follow her around like a little lovesick puppy—" A hesitant knock at the door stops me and I turn my head to see the topic of conversation standing there with a sheepish look on her face; as sheepish as one can look with a mask covering the bottom half.

I would excuse myself if I could, but I can't, because this is my hospital room, so I'm forced to watch this awkward, unpredictable scenario play out in real-time. Maddison approaches me first, gently dropping her hand palm down on my shin. What kind of gesture she's going for, I'm unsure but I decide to go with 'friendly'.

Her eyes look up and I assume they meet Aaron's because she moves from my side only to stop five feet away from my little brother. I printed to watch the tv mounted to the ceiling, but when there's real-life drama, how can one look away?

"Xan told me what he told you. How you didn't know. Of course, you didn't but I guess I assumed someone would tell you..." She trails off and my eyes widen. I've never seen her so unsure of herself, fidgeting with the strings of her hoodie.

"He was confused about the fact that you didn't tell me about it all. What happened when you had realized I'd gone in...why you left..." Aaron says. "I know I said that I didn't want to hear it. Didn't want you to come back, but I did—I do."

She takes a deep breath and steps a little closer. I turn my head away but continue to listen because how can I avoid this even if I tried? They're pretending as though I'm not here, so I'll do the same.

"I didn't want to give you excuses, because I was running. I had a good reason to leave, but I wanted one. It was convenient. But then...god, I regretted it and then it just got harder and harder to say anything. I have no excuses for that other than fear. It took me a while to even message Reed, and she's been my best friend for a year."

"All I can say is that I'm sorry. I know you said not to come back, but I heard you were hurt...Is everything okay?" She asks. "I guess this has been a long time coming though..." Maddison says and my eyes widen at her words, but other than that I don't react visibly.

"I'll probably need surgery to repair the ligaments and tendons. They said the fracture should heal on its own, but that my range of movement may not be the same because of how long it's been damaged." He says so quietly I almost can't make out his words, but I worry my lower lip with my teeth. How long exactly has it been damaged?

"I heard you were in Spain," He asks her and I assume she nods. "Was it about your sister?"

"Mhmm-hmm," She responds.

"Alright?"

"Yeah," She says breathily and her voice is so soft, free of the casual disdain I usually hear coating it. The sound of her speaking to my brother this way makes my heart clench with hope for them. There's a long pause, only the sounds of us breathing until she breaks it.

"Is there anything I can get you? She asks him and I only hear his bedsheets swishing as he moves. "Can I...would it be alright if I came back?" She asks hesitantly.

"Yeah. I'd like to just forget about what we said before. Neither of us had the full story," He says maturely. "Would you...are you busy? Would you like to maybe..." He trails off.

"Mind if I come sit down?" She cuts in and my mouth drops but I hide it by turning my head away from them. I can hear her movement as she joins him by his bed, scraping the metal chair against the floor as she drags it over. The two of them make small talk like I've never heard either of them do, avoiding anything serious, touchy, or overtly romantic, but their tone of voice and the way Maddison stays simply to sit and chat with him warms my heart.

"Do you guys want to play a card game or something?" Maddison mumbles and it takes me until my brother says my name to realize that I was included in that offer. I sit up and look over at the two of them, as close as can be with the height difference of Aaron being in the raised hospital bed and Maddison sitting in the low chair.

"Might be hard to pick up and put down the cards though. What about charades?"

"Ooh I like that idea," Aaron says. "Maddison can act it out every time," He laughs and I join in. She rolls her eyes with a smile, reaching for the remote on Aaron's bedside table.

"A show then," She says, planning to stay for now.