𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

A L E X A N D E R

I'm waiting with my hands in my lap, switching between doing that and standing up and pacing back and forth in the clinically white hallway. Charlie is in surgery, open on a table while a surgeon blasts her with radiation. Or at least, I'm pretty sure that's what is happening. For all I know she could be sewn back up and sleeping off the anesthesia, and the nurse just forgot to update us.

"It's alright darling. She's done it once, she can do it again," Charlie's mom tells me, covering my shaking hand with her own when I sit back down. She's been hiding her fear well this past week, and we've spent a lot of that time together.

We've eaten at least a meal together every day, and I've driven her to her hotel and back to the hospital every day. Reed and Farris offered to pick up Charlie's dad because I didn't feel like driving today would be safe for anyone, so they should all be here soon to join the party.

Each time the doors open, we look up at the nurses hoping that one of them will be there to deliver us good news, but none of them stop. Hours go by, Reed and Farris show up with Mr. Alexander and we share smiles as we introduce ourselves and make small talk, but nobody is quite into it. We all FaceTime Aaron when he messages me that he's awake, and he talks to his parents alone for a minute.

Farris puts his hand on my shoulder. "She'll be out soon," He says, and I don't say it aloud, but Charlie was predicted to be out of surgery an hour ago, and the possibilities of what could have gone wrong are all that is running through my mind.

It's another hour of this pretending that everything is fine game before I stand up and excuse myself. "Just gonna grab a snack," I lie when Louise, their mom, watches my movement carefully. I give her a soft smile before I go looking for the nurse's station.

"Excuse me," I say to the man at the desk as he types something on a computer. He finishes his sentence after a quick smile at me, giving me his attention just after.

"What can I do for you?" He asks, seemingly in a good mood.

I shuffle in place. "My...fiancee" I stutter, "was supposed to be out of surgery a couple of hours ago and we haven't had an update in a while. I was wondering if you or someone else could check for me so that I can update the rest of the family?"

He gives me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry about that, we've unfortunately got a lot going on today but I'll see if I can get you an update. Her name?" Their name?"

"Charlotte Alexander," I tell him and wait impatiently, tapping my fingers on the counter that separates us. He finds something on his computer and stands up after writing something on a sticky note.

"Alright, I'll be right back. Feel free to wait here," He says and gives me a calm smile that settles something in me. I slump into one of the waiting room chairs, leaning my elbow on the rest and holding up my head. He could have been gone for ten minutes, or an hour based on how slowly time seems to be passing for me, but he does return.

His face is less relaxed than it was when I left and my shoulders tighten. "Charlotte should be coming out of surgery very soon," He gives me a reassuring smile, but there's something in his posture and expression that leads me to believe there is more to it than that.

"Is there anything else?"

"The surgeon will be with you and your family shortly, and she will explain everything, including her care here and how the surgery went," He says and I don't pressure him.

"Thank you for finding that out for me. Have a nice day," I tell him and make my way back to everyone. Nobody says anything about me not having food, and just as I take my previous seat the doors open and a familiar doctor comes through the doors and we all stand up.