𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

A A R O N

All at once, with a crash and a bang, everything in my life seems to end but life itself. My dance career ended with an email, Charlie's surgery was over by the time I woke up that morning, not even conscious enough to be stressed over the outcome. My teachers gave me extensions on my schoolwork and exams, and my budding relationship seems to have ended without my knowledge.

Breathing fresh air after a week is amazing, the smell of salt in the air makes me feel peaceful despite my warring thoughts. According to Charlie's friends, Maddie ran off to Spain without a call or even a text. Reed is the only one of us to have received any information of her whereabouts, so at least Maddie informed the person she'd affect most by leaving.

I, on the other hand, have a hard time wrapping my head around it all. Denial seems to be working for me pretty well, considering I haven't burst into tears at the thought of her breaking her promise. I let myself think it over as I take a moment to myself in the parking lot of the hospital. My sister is inside, recovering with Xander at her side and that thought brings me some relief.

I feel as though I should be more upset, or even angry at her for leaving, but my heart is either numb, or I've convinced myself that she had a good reason. Perhaps she had a family emergency. Although that doesn't explain why she hasn't been in contact. I'd be more worried about her personal safety if Reed hadn't assured me that she was alive at least.

The walk back to campus is physically draining after such a long time of not being active. My lungs feel weaker and I know from experience that I'll often feel tired and weak until I have more time to heal. My lower back twinges in pain the more I walk, and the places that my stem cells were harvested from are still black and bruised.

My dorm building is visible up ahead, but it's the raven-haired girl standing in front of it that catches my eye. She's sitting on the curb, looking down at her phone which gives me time to approach her without her attention. Only when I stop in front of her in the street, my feet in her eye line, does she look up at me.

Her eyes are soft and they dart all over me, looking for the hurt that she'll only be able to see in my eyes. At first glance, she looks fine, but I know her better. I see the lack of sleep, the stress in her furrowed eyebrows, and the hesitance and lack of confidence in her movements as she stands up. Her head reaches the top of my chest as she stands above me on the curb.

I break the silence. "Welcome back."

She takes a deep breath in with her eyes closed. She speaks when they open and she finally meets my eyes. "I'm sorry, Aaron."

"For what?" I ask.

She throws her hands up, fed up. With me or herself, I'm not sure. "Where do I start? For leaving. For not contacting you. For not being there the second you got out. For breaking my promise. For not saying it back..." She trails off and now it's my turn to avoid her eyes.

"Are you going to tell me why, or did you just want to say sorry?" I ask, my voice soft and I have to stop myself from rubbing my eyes as they begin to feel scratchy.

"It's all an excuse anyway. You don't deserve that."

"So you didn't have a reason, other than not loving me back?"

"I...Aaron I do feel..."

"Don't say it. Please. I don't want to hear about how you feel something for me. That you like having me around, but don't know..." I trail off, shaking my head.

"I was..."

"You weren't there. And you didn't tell me why. I'm sure you had a good reason to go, I'm not upset about that. It was how you handled everything after that matters most to me. I had to find out from Reed that you were on another continent rather than keeping your promise. My first thought was that you just ran. I would believe you if you told me you did it without a reason. But I know you had one. I bet you had a good reason to leave. To stay, even. But no matter what I told myself, I can't realistically convince myself that there was a good reason not to contact me, other than your fear of what we have," I say. Taking a deep breath in as I watch Maddie's vulnerability through her grey eyes.