Placing the snapdragon flowers in the vase for Johnny's grave in the cemetery, I cross my legs thinking of what to say before saying "I miss you...I wish you were alive. You were taken away from everyone too soon" I want to cry, I do but I can't see to cry "sometimes I think I never should have come here...to Forks. That way I'd never have met Paul, never would have met you and you'd still be alive. Other times I am grateful I agreed to come here and meet you, before I didn't know what I meant to love another person...to let someone into my life and open myself up in a vulnerable way" now the tears come, they aren't coming rapidly but a few tears at a time "I'm sorry that I was the one who ended your life"
"What do you mean?" Jumping, turning around to see that Felix behind me. He's not wearing a cape or his necklace but he's in a t shirt, jeans, sneakers and a leather jacket. It's all black, the only color is under his shoes which is white. He looks normal, human even—well save for his red eyes.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"How long were you there?" I ask
"Apologies" he puts his hands in his pockets "I was passing by and saw you" I see he has some blood on his lips, must have hunted. He came back with the Cullens, Bella and I. I think it's to make sure Bella and I are turned.
We arrived back in Forks a few hours ago, I came here to the cemetery while Bella is going home with Edward and Alice. "No offense but I thought you had your fill in Volterra"
"Blood singer" he explains "most vampires like myself kill our blood singers"
"I don't know what that is" shaking my head
Coming closer "A blood singer is a human who's blood is essentially a drug to a vampire, most of the time it's just one but sometimes the blood singer can be more than one like in your sister's case. Mind if I sit next to you?" Waving my hand over, he sits next to me looking at the name "he was your first love?"
Nodding my head "It's my fault he's dead"
"How do you know?" He asks
"If I never came to Forks" I say "he might still be alive"
"Might" Felix brings up that word "everything is unknown, it's the beauty of the future. We don't know what it holds...and it wasn't your fault"
"How do you know?" I ask "If I never came here I never would have met Paul, Paul is the reason Johnny is gone. I stupidly said yes to going on a date with Paul" tears well in my eyes "I didn't feel for him romantically but I was curious and...now my life is a mess because of it"
"First" Felix shakes his head "what that wolf shifter does is because he's choosing to do those actions. It's not your fault he killed Johnny. He's the one who acted upon his thoughts. He's the one who has this idea of what you two will be. You are not responsible for the decisions someone makes"
We are silent before I say "I feel numb, for two weeks after Johnny died I mourned by crying. But a few days after I just stopped feeling sad, I was sad one minute and now...when I found out Paul killed Johnny I felt rage but...I don't know what is going on"
"Sometimes grief comes at different times" Felix says "or sometimes not at all. Everyone is different, your just processing death in a way that is different from everyone else"
"I don't even know why I'm telling you this" looking at Felix "I mean..."
"Sometimes" he looks at me "it's easier to tell a complete stranger than tell someone you know" my phone goes off then and I see it's from Charlie.
"Hello?" I ask
"HELENA MORGAN SWAN!" Charlie yells over the phone "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!"
"I'm paying my respects to Johnny" I twist some grass looking away from Felix, looking down "why?" A large cold hand covers mine, our fingers intertwine and I look up at Felix as he holds my hand.
"YOU WENT TO ITALY!" He yells, I don't see the problem "WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE, GET YOUR ASS BACK HOME THIS INSTANT!" He hangs up and I sigh shaking my head.
"You don't want to go home, do you?" Felix asks
I shake my head no "I'm not like Bella. She is closer with Charlie than me, I want to feel a connection to Charlie...I do but I don't"
"If it helps" Felix offers "it'll be easier for when your a vampire"
"Kind of" moving the hand that is intertwined with mine, I move it so that I'm looking at his palm and trace the lines.
"Are you trying to read my palm?" He asks amused
Shaking my head lifting my lifts a bit "I like tracing lines on a person's hand" as I do this, I sense something and look around before seeing a figure in the tree lines. Narrowing my eyes "What's there?"
Felix looks over and growls "Wolf shifter"
"What color?" I ask
"Dark silver" he says "why?"
"That's Paul" shaking my head as I stand up "I'm not ready to face him, I thought I was but...can you bring me home?"
"Of course" he nods his head, picking me up bridal style our eyes connect and I gulp feeling the heat from before build between my legs. My nipples harden as my body reacts in a way it has never reacted before to someone "your house?"
"Um" trying to think "it's the one with the police cruiser, a red orange pickup, a motorcycle and jeep" he nods his head and holds me close, I have my arms wrapped around his neck before he leaves. What is he doing to me?
