Sweet But A Psycho

Fifty

"Okay mom" Felix hands me my sandwich which I told him I could make but he wanted me to call my mom since she's been calling and I haven't had any time and been pushing it off "yes you'll be meeting him when we come visit, no I'm not pregnant we're going to wait until a few years after college, your going to love him"

"You sound so happy" she says "I love you baby"

"I love you too" hanging up, I wipe a few tears knowing that these could be the last words I'll hear from her. I then think about the life I'll get with Felix, how as an immortal time will be different.

"Who was that?" Charlie asks coming into the kitchen after speaking with Alice about the lie for the battle. How Bella and her are having a sleepover while everyone else is camping when in reality it'll be Bella and Edward. She is still pissed that she doesn't know when she'll be turned and it's so funny.

"Mom" I tell him "she's dying to meet Felix, both her and Phil"

Nodding his head "Hey" we see Bella come in as Felix places me in his lap, I smile leaning into him as we see Bella not pay attention to us "want a sandwich? Either of you" I see Demetri come towards us, he was in my room catching the scent of the nomad that was there and seeing if anything was missed since the Cullens said that they may be after me. That something was taken from my room.

Shaking her head "No, I'm good"

"No thanks Charlie" Demetri sits down next to me.

"The sister" Charlie says "I like"

"Alice?" Bella asks after washing her hands "yeah, she's great. Hey dad, I was wondering why you never got remarried after mom" I stop eating to look at them.

"I don't know" Charlie looks at her confused "guess I still haven't met the right gal. Why...wait! Is Edward still asking to marry you?"

"No"

"Lying" I whisper

"I thought you just gave up on the whole institution of it" she says "and why do you care more about me getting married then Hela?"

"You know the answer to that" Charlie says

"Do you think there's any value in it?" She asks

"Didn't the mind reader" Demetri whispers to me "didn't he say he'd turn her if she married him?" Nodding my head yes "also the Cullens lied, nothing is missing from your room"

We hear a meow and see Cream Puff "My baby, come to mama!" Picking up my kitten I hold her in my arms petting her, she jumps to my shoulder purring loudly.

"Yeah, marriage has value" Charlie confirms "when you Bella are older, much older. Like your mom for example, seemed to work out fine the second time around"

"And Hela?" She asks

They look our way and I say "You both know it's a miracle for me to ever be married"

"I thought you'd get married to a grizzly bear" Bella says

Smiling "I did" looking at Felix "Felix is my big grizzly bear, ain't that right baby?"

"You got that right sugar" he presses his lips to mine, after a few minutes I pull away to eat more when my stomach growls.

"Also Bella" Charlie adds "when you get married later in life to someone who I don't hate...I mean you don't want to get married because you weren't careful" I stop eating to look over.

"What?" She asks confused

Demetri snorts "She can't be" he asks me "that ignorant right?"

"You'd be surprised"

"You know what I'm talking about" Charlie says "there are things"

"He means if Edward got you pregnant" Felix says, she turns red at that.

"Oh" shaking her head "we aren't having this conversation, we aren't having the talk. I mean did you have the talk with Helena?"

Nodding his head "I did" she looks at me and I nod my head "when Johnny started to sleep over—but we stopped when she talked about my needs as a man"

"Huh?" Bella asks

"Ugh!" I exclaim "Your both adults! Charlie you have needs as a man" he covers his ears so I yell having Demetri laugh while Felix shakes with laughter "just go online and order a hooker, or go to an online site and meet someone, or go to a bar and learn to pick up women! So many options for you, it's okay to fuck! It's very healthy! Bella" her face is bright red right now "If you are afraid that Edward will hurt you, then you be on top! Reverse cowgirl! Or start off with toys and using your fingers! I can send you porn links! But most importantly" I yell as she runs "use condoms! You don't know where Edward's cock has been!" Demetri has his head on my shoulder as he laughed so hard, I see he had his phone out recording this. Looking at Charlie as he is beat red "you too, you don't know if anything has been festering" he runs out of the room "use condoms!"

"You turn the most awkward conversation" Felix laughs "between a father and daughter and turn it into your own torture thing"

"Oh my god! Dad!" Bella yells "I'm a virgin!" Kind of doubtful but it makes Demetri laugh even more "Edward is also a virgin!" Us three bursted out laughing.