The Love A Rose Deserves

Adoration

Song For The Chapter: Des Rocs- Used to the darkness

By the time Jace got back, I was already deep into my daydreaming about him. I was obviously getting effected as well. I just cant seem to help it anymore. He comes with these thoughts and feelings now. These feelings including sexual attraction. 

I couldn't stop thinking about yesterday. God, I am so obsessed. This morning I had unfortunately woken up with some random pajamas on. I rolled my eyes and tried taking them off, Jace was quick and threatened to leave if I even pushed his patience the slightest bit. Yesterday was too much of a test for him apparently. I was sweet until he left, which was abrupt, didn't even make me breakfast or kiss me goodbye.

There was something about yesterday that was itching my brain. It was like something that raised an alarm in my head but I had just been so focused on Jace that I couldn't possibly think. It was something quick.... Maybe it was the scars but that didn't seem enough of a satisfying answer.

I sighed, only able to think about everything else. I remembered everything else well enough. How could I possible forget? He didn't leave my thoughts once. I was dazed. Just mesmerized. I got to touch him! How could I possibly think about anything else!?I dropped into the couch. I want to again. How could I ever get enough of him? I will just keep asking for more and more. 

I want to know every inch of skin, I want to kiss and touch every inch of his skin. I want to know everything about him. I want him to have him all to myself.

I hugged Velvet to my chest.

"Oh, what do I do Velvet?"

Her ear twitched but she didn't react at all, offered me no answers. 

This is so dangerous, I didn't think this was ever a emotion I could feel. I didn't think anything could be so.... absolute like this. Maybe this really has become an obsession, an addiction? I felt happy, very happy. Just thinking of him makes me happy and I want to be with him every second of the day. There's no way I can go back to how it was before. Not knowing when he would come, spending most of my days alone, not having his touch, no. I can't do that. I physically need his touch now. I need his heat, his comfort, his safety, his protection, his guidance, his pleasure. I need to touch him too. I get so overwhelmed by my need to have him. Its so weird, I want to kiss him, touch him, lick him, bite him, pleasure him. I was panting with adrenaline, full of love. How I wish I could kiss him all the time! Kiss him to my hearts content because that was nothing compared to how much I love him.

I gasped to myself...

I love Jace. I really love Jace. I love him entirely! I love him! I love him! I love him!

My heart raced, excited to be with him. Excited to see him again tomorrow, excited to simply live with him!

I love him! I want to tell him! I want to shower him with love.

I gulped.

He's worth it. If this is an addiction, obsession, whatever- he's a good choice. He's the only person I want. He's the only person I could ever want.

I closed my eyes, everything about him feels good. Yesterday was just, a realization. That I do want him. 

That I do.... I love him.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him!

I love him!