The Love A Rose Deserves

Without Him

Song For The Chapter: Before You Exit- Silence

"Everyone, what a crackhead." I shook my head, writing down even what Raphael told me.

Last night I dreamt of what Raphael told me. It was fuzzy. Raphael and I were making out, there was fighting and then a vision of Raphael against the wall, battered and bloodied. I never got to see Jason.

I questioned if I should call Jason at least just to see what Raphael meant by owed....

But I can't do it. No.

I'd cry. As soon as I'd see him, I'd cry. I doubt we'd even talk. I can't, I can't. Not yet.

Velvet jumped up, licking my band-aid.

I picked her up, she looks like him.... The eyes... Or maybe I'm just looking for him in everything...

"You miss Jace?" Her ears perked up and her eyes widened. Not only that Luna jumped up, looking around.

"You guys are absolutely no help."

No. No.

I won't let myself fall blind by the comfort he used to give me. I have to get him out of my head and finish putting everything together.

Fuck him.

Fuck Jason.

Who else can I talk to that might've been in my life when Jason was?

"Alexandra!"

"Don't use my government name unless your mad." She huffed.

"Alex." I sang.

"Aww, reminds me of high school."

"Lex."

"Aww, reminds me of middle school."

"Dra."

"Aww, elementary babies."

"Lexi."

"Yes, my Serenity."

"We go way back, don't we?"

"Yes we do, why?"

"Is there ever a time you remember that I was... " how do I even ask this? "That...." What am I even asking? "That you think I was in love?"

"Yeah, you and Ace, after you told me everything that happened with him." All she knows right now is that I was going on dates with Jason and that I was head over heels. I never told her what happened after... that night.

"Well besides now. Like in the previous years."

"Mmmm no. I don't think so how far back do you want me to think? I know for a fact you had the biggest crush on Levi from 2nd grade."

"No, think later." I laughed.

"Well you did really like Damon but I can't remember what happened with that."

"Damon?"

Damon!

Oh my-

"Whatever happened to him?!" I can't remember. I remember liking him but I can't really remember much. That definitely means it was around that time!

"Well him and Cassie ended going to the same college and fell in love and got married! Isn't it cute!?"

"Cassie!" I gasped. I remember her. Omg. "Oh my gosh that is fucking cute! They make the cutest fucking couple!"

"I know!" She squealed. "They had like a small wedding to themselves in Paris."

"What year was this? When we went to school together?"