𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 || 𝐉.𝐉𝐊 ✓

⊘ • ❹❻ • ⊘

𓆩・༺ ꔫ ༻・𓆪

I climbed out of the tub once washing my hair—what little remained of it.

It's so hard to look at it now, and I won't be able to put it up in a ponytail for months. I'm lucky that the worst part was appearance-wise and then being assaulted and undeniably humiliated because of it.

I may not go that far either, but even if the guard violated me, I still don't feel as though I lost anything except my dignity.

At least, I hope no one will look at me differently, especially Jungkook. I don't think I can handle him looking at me like that—with pity, hurt, or worse, disgust.

Whatever it comes down to, I don't want anyone to know about it. I'll tell Jungkook about it one day. He would know what it feels like to be roamed by foreign hands who were thought to be safe until otherwise.

I let the thought fade and shake my head, losing my train of thought.

"You're not broken, Vee. This won't and doesn't define you. Yeah, you're going through hell, but you're fighting the demons to make your way out of it." I mumble while wrapping myself in a blue robe.

Walking out of the bathroom, I collapse on the bed with my arm thrown over my eyes.

I let the soft mattress underneath me stay as a reminder that even if I do take a moment to myself that I can't fully relax with so many threats around.

"I take it you're done now?" I hear a masculine voice say. I remove my arm and see Yoongi standing by the doorframe, leaning against the wood with his arms crossed over his chest.

His bangs hang over his tired eyes, and he looks at me with a cheeky smile that I haven't seen in a while.

"Do you need to use it?" I gesture to the bath, but he shakes his head and walks into the room where he sits down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"I wanted to check on you—see how you were doing."

I let a heavy breath escape my lips while I sit up. "I don't know how to answer that, Yoongi. I want to say I'll be fine or I'm okay, but it'll be a lie if I do. I feel guilty if anything." I won't allow myself to meet his gaze.

I wonder if he thinks differently of me because I came so willingly with them—because I left everyone behind.

"Don't do that, Vee," he says patiently. "You have no reason to feel guilty. You're helping us save them. You're going to be the one to take him down."

"And what if I can't? What if I'm useless?" I turn to him a little too quickly, shocking myself with the rise in my voice.

I sigh, hating the way my mind is making me feel. I don't deserve to enjoy anything or relax when others are suffering, and I sure don't deserve to act as their leader when I left them when they needed me most.

"I left them, Yoongi. I disappeared and left. Yeah, not every person listened to me or cared what I thought, but I was the only one to talk with the guards—to help make it a little easier for everyone. I made myself be the positive influence because I knew so many of them gave up." I pause.