𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 || 𝐉.𝐉𝐊 ✓

⊘ • ❻ʘ • ⊘

𓆩・༺ ꔫ ༻・𓆪

Time is fickle. Everything changes between passing seconds, and all it takes is one fleeting moment to alter someone's life forever.

One tiny second can create so much joy, happiness, and excitement, but it can also bring sadness, worry, fear, and pain. It can produce a new life or end one.

For a long time, I was stuck in a time loop. Daily life became difficult when my past came back to haunt me.

Memories flashed through my eyes as though living the experience, and I would often lose my grip on reality. Vivid nightmares came day and night, haunting me as if that shackle around my ankle was still there.

I sometimes had to check and make sure it was gone. I felt paranoid for a long time. Negative thoughts about Ghost not being dead slipped into my head, how his men could come and seek revenge, how the mayor would hire someone to kill me next, how I would never be free, and how Jungkook could die, too.

It took months to repair my damaged mind. I never realized I had these issues until life settled down, and I was constantly reminded of the past. After running for so long, looking over my shoulder, and worrying about being found, it caught up with me.

I wish I could say it went away and I'm completely healed, but it would be a lie. One year later, I'm still struggling. Thankfully, with the therapy sessions, medication, and the help of Jungkook, I've been getting so much better as of late.

Christmas is around the corner, and after New Year's, I'll be able to come off my medication and my therapy visits will become less frequent. It's exciting to see how far I've come, but I'll admit the beginning of this journey wasn't easy.

I've struggled for a year with panic attacks, anxiety, paranoia, and a few other issues that have luckily disappeared at this point, such as my guilt and depression.

It took a while for me to fully accept and understand it was over and Ghost was dead. It took me even longer to realize Ghost riddled my head with new forms of torture.

As difficult as the first few months were, there were beautiful moments, too.

Jungkook never left my side. He supported me in many ways, and he helped me on my feet when my own two legs couldn't function anymore.

In the beginning, when I was in the deepest depths of our bed's comforter, Jungkook would pull back the black sheet, pull me out of bed while humming gently, and carry me into the kitchen where he would sometimes have to help me eat. If not for his convincing methods to make me eat, my weight would have dropped sufficiently.

However, Jungkook's smile never faltered. He smiled when he took care of me. Whether it be brushing my hair, feeding me, helping me take care of myself, or calming me down from my nightmares, he was always there with a reassuring smile.

I became dependent on him for a while as I healed, but I slowly became better over time. Jungkook talked me into seeing a therapist after living in Alaska for about a month, and I reluctantly agreed.

It was hard to talk at first, share my feelings, and expose myself to a stranger. It would be difficult for anyone, but eventually, I realized I needed to give in to the belief this was helping. That was the first step in healing, and after that, it started to become easier to open up.