pavitr prabhakar x reader

the secret

What am I really hiding? Surely this question has popped up in everyone's head atleast once, whether that someone is reading my thoughts or not.

Well, surprise, i have another secret. What is it? Ha, you're not going to find out. Not yet.

I met Deadpool once, he's the only reason i talk like this. Although me being lost in my thoughts, does make the time go by normally, it doesn't pause anything.

It's not easy being an overthinker, and then also trying to wrap your mind around the fact that there might be people reading your mind and learning whatever you're thinking and doing. Not a big fan of this honestly.

Im sure you're thinking "damn the character is becoming sentient" maybe. I don't know. Something about the fourth wall is fascinating. Yet, it's easier to pass it sometimes. What am I thinking? Obviously nobody is reading my head, it's that thing Deadpool said! It was a phase where i was scared of thinking in case someone else was reading. Why am I thinking about thinking? Did i just think about thinking about thinking? What the hell. Okay let's stop now. Why am I still doing this?

Okay let's do this one last time? Well not really.

My name's Y/N. I was abandoned in front of the Avengers tower by my parents. It goes further back, but we don't need to learn about that yet. And for the past 9 years, i have been Y/S/H/N. Although not so much on the superhero part. Im sure you're aware of the rest. After that, i moved cities a lot, saving civilians, again, and again, and again. Liked someone, didn't end well, she uh kinda died. Fell in love once, didn't quite  work out that time either. So am i in love with Spiderman? I'm supposed to be, but am i really? It feels... Forced. I do love the guy, i swear, but is it just in a platonic manner? Anyways, i then was recruited by SHIELD, who gave me equipment and also kinda put me on the enemy list for villains. Didn't work out well. My team died, my power source was scratched by this evil dude named Octopus, i went to the Spiderverse, that destroyed my power source even more, they couldn't fix it, i came back to my own universe, got told this crazy story about canon events and i moved to Manhattan, also apparently my team is actually alive. Hooray.

Oh and also i have nightmares about my past sometimes, it kinda annoys people a bit.

Prom is in 5 days and i don't know if i should go with Pav or just not go at all, and maybe go to Tony and try to ask him how to fix this power source, and hopefully not die in the process.

I'm aware of the fight most likely taking place during prom, i can't be there. If Ock destroys my power source more I'll actually die. Canonically. And that'll break his heart. I promised i wouldn't do that, he means too much to me for me to be able to do that. I also promised Gwen and i can't leave without saying goodbye to everyone and that will take longer than 5 days to do.

"Y/N. Hey wake up, you're late for school!" Said a voice.

"Fuck school goddamnit! You're not my mother, and i know that because i don't HAVE A MOTHER. So fuck off!" I ranted, half asleep.

"Atleast let me leave? I still have my perfect attendance to take care of." Continued the voice.

"What the fuck?" I say as i open my eyes, to find i fell asleep cuddling Pav, unknowing to him that I'm thinking about us.

"Okay you need to take care of your potty mouth. I'm not kidding!" He says.

"Fuck off" i say as i put both my middle fingers up at him.

"Hey!" He shrieked.

"You said potty mouth, nothing about gestures!" I replied.

"Okay i kept your lehenga for prom in your closet, if you're not coming to school, atleast try it on." He said, changing into his uniform.

"Why do you even wear the school uniform by the way? You've gotta be one of the only people that does that. I only wear it to give you company honestly." I reply.

"I dunno" he replies.

"How vague." I say. "I guess I'll come to school then today I guess." I groaned and got out of bed.

I took out my uniform hanging near my bag, and went to the bathroom to change. I think that no matter how close i get to anybody, i will never be comfortable showing my body to anyone. All the scars, the marks. They're less visible now than they were when i was 4, but you can still see them clearly, along with the wounds i got from being a "superhero". Although the newer wounds heal faster.

"Y/N? You've been in there for 20 minutes, are you ready to leave yet? I still have to comb my hair!" Said Pav, knocking on the door.

"Yea, just- give me a moment" i say, slipping on the green pants and fastening my belt. Another instance of me changing the clothes I'm supposed to usually wear because of scars. I think scars are cool, don't get me wrong, but i like to hide that 'coolness' within, it's only for me to see.

I unlock the door, "the mirror is all yours" i say, imitating his jazz hands.

"Oh that smells lovely, did you make anything?" I say, somehow having my accent change into a british one. I've spent too much time with Obie Brown. Fuck, even my thoughts are bri'ish now.
There it goes again!

"What happened to your accent dear?" He replied, mocking my tone. "And i made some pakore, felt like eating some and you were taking too long to get changed"

"Bugger off" i continue on with my accent.

"5 days till prom! You can't be mad at me at this time! This is prime time!" He says enthusiastically.

Dangit.

"Whatever" i rolled my eyes while taking a bite of the aloo pakora.

A/N

Ayup it's Astrid, I'm maybe going on a break, there's gonna be another chapter today, but i need to go somewhere so i won't be able to write for tomorrow