It's okay until it isn't

Scars

(This chapter contains self harm)

Minho's POV:

We spent most of the day getting used to our new house.

We just hung out in our house, talked, joked.

Near the end of the day, I left to get us dinner, and when I came back I saw Newt sitting on the edge of our bed, his head in his hands, his body shaking with sobs. I immediately set the food down on one of the log-stools, and sat next to him. He made no move showing that he noticed me.

"Newt? Honey? You okay?"

Newt looked up from his hands, and quickly wiped his eyes

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

I took one look at his tear stained face, his flushed cheeks, and his red eyes.

"No, you're not. What's wrong?"

Newt sat up straight

"Nothings wrong."

I put a hand on his back

"Yes, something is. Is it about. . .Alby? The others?"

Newt shrugged off my hand and stood up to looked at me

"No, everythings fine."

I stood up next to him.

"Newt, you know you can tell me, right?

Newt took a step away

"Yes, but nothing is wrong."

"Something is!"

Newt walked to the door.

"Nothing is."

I took a step towards him

"Newt, c'mon. Are you really okay?"

Newt opened the door, and stepped out.

"Yes! Everything is okay! Everyone is okay! I'm okay!"

He slammed the door closed, him outside.

I sat down back on the bed

"Newt. . ."

Now I was the one sitting on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands, crying.

Newt's POV:

My voice broke on the word okay.

I was okay

I was okay

I was-

I fell onto my knees in the sand and started sobbing.

I wasn't okay

I stopped crying, and started gasping for breath.

Each lungfull didn't feel like enough.

I really was drowning.

I started running. I didn't know where. The pain in my leg felt good.

I almost ran into a building.

I guessed it was the kitchen

Oh, well, as good a spot as any.

I swung open the door.

I was right. It was the kitchen. I sat down in one of the corners, and just started crying. Every few seconds I would start gasping for breath again.

Why did I do that?

Why was I so stupid?

Minho just wanted to help me, and I ruined it.

I stopped crying, and just sat there, sucking in breath after breath