It's okay until it isn't

scared

Minho's POV:

I woke up numb.

That was, until I realized Newt wasn't here.

Then I was filled with terror.

Oh, shuck, after what happened yesterday. . .

I bolted out of bed.

I ran out of the house. No one.

It was still early, the sun having just risen.

I sprinted to the closest house, Thomas, and pounded on the door until he opened it, bleary eyed. Once he saw my panic though, he immediately looked worried, his face tensing up, his body stiffening.

"What?"

I didn't know if my voice would work. Luckily, it did.

"I-It's N-Newt. Newt Isn't in the house. I don't know where he is, or if he's okay, or if he's still alive!"

Thomas put his hands on my shoulders.

"Don't worry. We'll find him. Go look around your house, I'll get the others."

I nodded, and ran back to our house. He wasn't there.

The next thing I knew I was in the sand, tears streaming down my face, uselessly calling Newt's name. Brenda was by me. She helped me up. She tried to get me to stop crying, to stop screaming. Thomas came back, followed by Aris and Fry.

"Minho."

I looked over at him through the tears.

"Minho, I'm sure it'll be okay."

I snapped. I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump at him or collapse again.

I did the latter.

Brenda was by me again.

"What is it?"

I choked back another sob.

"I-It won't b-be okay. D-Don't s-say that."

Thomas looked terrible

"I-I'm sorry. . ."

Frypan looked at us. At me curled in the sand. At Aris looking terrified. At Brenda uselessly trying to get me up. At Thomas who looked like he wanted to hide from it all. Then Frypan looked at all of us.

"Alright you shanks!"

I wiped my eyes, and looked up at him.

"We are going to find Newt. Find him now! Anyone who says otherwise gets to face me!"

I managed a small laugh, and shakily stood up. Frypan patted me on the back so hard, I almost fell back over.

I ran then. I needed to find Newt, and I would run for as long as it takes to get to him. As long and as hard.

I ran to the cliff.

I knew why.

I tried not to think about why.

I failed.

I saw Newt's lifeless body sprawled on the maze cement.

I saw Newt's broken leg, and hopeless eyes.

I shook my head to try to clear the thoughts.

I took a deep breath and peered over the edge.

No Newt.

Thank shuck.

But where was he?

The others had caught up to me, and knew from my look of relief that he hadn't jumped. I ran again. I checked the kitchen, worried I would find him there.

I didn't.

I checked the forest, hoping I would find him there.

I didn't.

Aris walked up behind me, and put a hand on my shoulder

"Maybe he went back to the house?"

I just nodded tiredly, and said in a just as tired and hopeless voice.

"Maybe."

I listlessly started heading back for the house.

All I wanted right now was to see Newt.

Then I saw him, and all I wanted to do was go back in time.

Newt's POV:

I was slipping.

If he didn't come soon I wouldn't be able to bloody say goodbye.

And I couldn't do that.

I just couldn't.

Somewhere in the back of my head I knew this might happen.

I grabbed the paper.

I hurriedly wrote the things I needed Minho to know.

When I finished I let the paper fall from my hands.

I was breathing without breathing.

Living without living.

Happy but sad.

I reached for the gun, turning it over and over in my hands.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my tears staining the gun.

I heard people talking.

I looked up.

Minho was here.

Thank shuck.