It's okay until it isn't

Empty

When I woke up, I didn't want to wake up.

When I went to sleep, I didn't want to go to sleep.

I only wanted to be with Newt.

My life for the next couple days was me laying on the cold stone ground, always crying, never eating, never talking.

Then one day, I woke up, just empty.

I had no tears left.

I just felt empty.

Dead.

Gone.

I just rotated onto my back and stared up at the cloudy gray sky.

Everything was terrible with no Newt.

I was just about to curl back into a ball, when I felt hands pulling me up.

I warily glanced at the person, and saw Frypan.

"C'mon."

He looked terrible. I just sort of sighed and followed him.

He led me to the kitchen, where my friends were.

They all looked awful, their eyes red, their body's sagging with exhaustion.

They started telling me something, but my mind blurred them out when I remembered Newt's scars. They came from here.

I had tears pouring down my face now.

So much for out of tears.

Eventually they started to leave, so I did too.

I went back to my hard stone floor.

If you could even call it a floor.

It was a couple more days before someone approached me. This time it was Clint.

It was about noon when he walked up to me.

"Come on."

I just shook my head.

He pulled me up anyway.

We went to the kitchen again.

He motioned for me to sit at a table.

I did.

He plopped a plate of food down, then sat across from me.

"You will eat."

I shook my head

"I-I c-c-can't."

My voice was cracked and unused.

"Do you think Newt would have wanted this?"

At his name, I buried my head in my hands, a fresh wave of tears starting.

Eventually I looked up.

Clint was still sitting there.

"Eat."

I shakily picked up a spoon and started robotically spooning mashed potatoes in my mouth.

I almost choked when I remembered me, my friends, and Newt eating mashed potatoes.

Back then we were all happy.

I had somehow finished eating, and Clint said some sort of encouragement as I left.

My stomach flipped around.

I hadn't eaten anything in at least a week.

Now a full meal.