From Vows to Forever

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟓: 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐍𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

"You're the peanut to my butter, the cheese to my mac,
With you, life's a hilarious romantic track.
Our love's a comedy, filled with laughter and jest,
Through silly moments, our hearts are truly blessed.
In your arms, I've found my forever clown,
Where love and laughter forever abound."

[ BACK IN MUMBIA, 1 WEEK LATER ]

I wipe my tears and got off the bed after slipping out of his hold, pick Ayaan's shirt and wore it before limping out of the room. I walked down the stairs and took a glass out of the cupboard. I filled water in it and drank it trying to calm my hiccups.

It was always my fault. Why was I so dumb? that's why no one ever liked me, and I hated myself too. I am dumb and stupid, I drove everyone I love away, I was always a good for nothing daughter. I didn't realise when the glass fell out of my hold and shattered on the ground making me flinch badly.

[WARNING: SELF HARM]

I kneel on the ground and try to pick up the big pieces, but I felt so broken that I leaned against the wall and looked at the broken glass in my hand. You promised him you wouldn't hurt yourself again. Don't hurt yourself, Nyesa . Please don't!
My mind kept screaming at me, but before I knew it, I had already cut my wrist deeply.

And soon I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness. I could feel someone pick me up from the ground in there arms,  it I was too far gone to realise who it was. All I could feel was the disappointment of everyone I ever loved. How I used to think I was the one used to think people were crazy to not talk to me anymore. But it was me who was the problem, I drove people away.

I wanted to pull her closer, but when I tried to I was met with a soft squishy pillow. I opened one eye and looked to see I was squishing a pillow to myself. As soon as I realised that I heard something shattering in the house, and I quickly got off the bed and wore a T-shirt and sweatpants. And ran downstairs, and the scene I was met with, made my whole world come down.

I ran towards her and picked her up, and ran towards the lift. My eyes glossy I looked at her unconscious self and patted her cheek but she had fainted due to the loss of blood I saw her thin wrists, and held them in a tight grip to stop the blood loss and a few tears dropped on my cheek. I drove like crazy to the hospital, worried and angry at the same time.

As soon as we reached the hospital I picked her up and ran inside, in a minute I was swarmed by the best doctors. They took her from my arms and put her on a bed before running her inside the operation theatre, and I ran after them but the nurses stopped me at the door and closed it. Another nurse made me settle on a bench and gave me a glass of water.

As soon as my shock of everything that happened wore off, I picked up my phone and called my mum, she soon picked up and talked in a groggy voice "Baby, everything ok?" And I just broke down on the phone and told her everything that happened, and they told me they will reach the hospital in five minutes.

I just couldn't control the dam of emotions I was overwhelmed with. Soon, my parents came running to me and my mum hugged me, hugged me as if her life depended on it. And for a moment I revelled in the hug and comfort it gave me.

"Mom I love her, I can't lose her. I can't, I tried so hard to make her love herself I don't know what happened suddenly" I said crying into her stomach, hugging her so close to me. During this whole one month I spent it making her love herself, making her love me.

"You won't baby, you and her are meant to be together. And let her wake up, then talk to her calmly. Something must have happened, she has gone through a lot, it takes a lot of time to recover from it. Give her time!" Both my parents comforted me with their words and hugs, as we waited early 3AM for the doctors to give us some news.

After hours and hours, of impatient waiting in my side, the doctors finally walked outside. I ran to them, as my parents are sleeping leaning on each other. " what is your relation with her, Ayaan?" Doctor Jarine asked me. And I told her, "she is my wife" and she looked at me surprised before she asked me to come with her.

And we walked into her cabin, as soon as we both sat inside I impatiently asked her " is she going to be ok?" She smiled at my concern before opening the file in her hands and saying, "ok so she is going to be fine. But there a lot of bad news. Starting with she has bad anxiety problems, and has a severe case of depression. We just did the test. The scars on her thighs are not very deep and healed very nicely so did her wrist, not leaving any dark marks behind. But if she hurts herself again and loses more blood, she might not be able to have children."

And that broke my heart, " Ayaan I would suggest therapy, I have known you since we were in 2nd grade and I know its not because of you. But if you really want to help her, get her into therapy and comfort her. She needs endless amounts of love from you in this time. And congratulations on the wedding by the way!" She said with a sympathetic smile, and I give her a sad smile back before thanking her.

"Lastly would you like me to do a Anti-Müllerian Hormone test, it is a test to check a woman's fertility" even though I don't want to do it without the permission of her, but I don't think she will mind, since we were already planning on going to a doctor after we came back so I nodded. "Can I see her?" I asked her and she nodded and led me to her room.

Her wrist was wrapped in white bandages and she was asleep. "She will wake in the morning now, you and aunty uncle can rest in here." I nodded and she left. I woke up both my parents and told them to shift to Nyesa's room. They nodded and walked with me to her room. As soon as they entered, all the sleep flew out of my mom's eyes as her eyes fell on Nyesa.