As The Music Dies

46. Breakdowns

Morning comes with a heavy feeling as soon as Izuku opens his eyes from a restless sleep. He lays there in bed a few minutes after his alarm goes off knowing he has to get up and get ready for his flight home.

Last night feels like one of those nightmares you have that lingers into the morning and you aren't that sure at first if it was really real or not and some place down deep you keep praying silently that it wasn't.

But the still hurt feelings fluttering around his chest like a swarm of bees tells him it was real. He turns his head to the side suddenly to Katsuki's normal spot in bed but doesn't see him. A frown forms as he sits up pushing past the heavy feel of restless sleep and heaviness that lies deep in his chest.

Emerald eyes scan the room but he doesn't see the blonde and since the bathroom door is open with the light off he knows he's not in there. He feels a deep twinge of worry suddenly as he starts to climb out of bed quickly.

As soon as his feet hit the floor the hotel room opens revealing the the musician with white take out boxes of food.

He meets emerald eyes and gives a tried looking smile.

" Morning Deku. Sorry I wasn't here I wanted to run out and got breakfast for you so you didn't have to eat shitty airline food."

Izuku feels his heart ache at the gesture and the look in crimson eyes that he can tell have been awake all night.

He gives his own gentle smile taking the outstretched container in his hand.

" Thanks Rock Star. I appreciate it. Did you get anything for yourself?", he ask as he sits at the small table in the room.

The blonde gives a shrug taking off his leather jacket sitting down moving his chair closer to the greenett.

" Nah, not really hungry."

Izuku nods, poking around at the food in his to-go container.

" Yeah, I know the feeling."

Katsuki feels his stomach tense as he gnaws at the inside of his cheek. Before be can comment Izuku speaks again.

" You.. you look so tired Kacchan. Did you sleep at all?", he ask reaching his hand out placing it on the musician's arm.

The blonde lifts his eyes seeing emerald ones that still care so much but hold traces of hurt and it makes Katsuki want to cry in the moment.

He puts his larger hand over the smaller one holding on to his arm. He shrugs forcing a slight smile.

" A little bit.", he lies.

He lies because the truth is he hasn't slept a wink. He's been up all night, pacing the room, smoking more cigarettes on the balcony than anyone should in a short period of time. He kept his eyes on the restless greenett in his bed wondering if he'd ever get to see him laying in it again and prayed to any God listening that he would.

As he studied Izuku all through his wakeful night, as he took in his gentle soft features and the ease of the rise and fall of his chest, looked at those freckles that captured his attention from the very first night and watched the sometimes flutter of dark black lashes that hid the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen, he decided that that gentle but sometimes ferice waiter was the most gorgeous male he's ever seen with the heart and personality to match it. In those moments last night he loathed himself even more for not being able to say the words that this amazing creature in front of him deserved to hear.

That soft creatures voice suddenly breaks his thoughts.

" Kacchan? You're so distant, you ok?"

Katsuki meets his gaze as he squeezes the greenetts hand while he scoffs bitterly at himself.