The One [a Roman Reigns story]

5 Confusion

With a deep sigh, I walked slowly through the still warm sand. The waves broke loudly as they hit the shore. No one was here, which surprised me, because it was a beautiful evening. And sunset was usually something people enjoyed with their partners.

I sighed again as an ache ran through my heart. That was the last thing I should think about. With my hand I gathered the fabric of my summer dress so that I could kneel in the sand. My gaze wandered over the wild water as a breeze caught my hair and blew it into my face. I quickly brushed it behind my ear. Just as a seagull landed in front of me. 

She didn't seem the least bit shy. Rather curious, the way she tilted her head and looked at me. Almost as if she wanted to know why I was here all alone. On this beautiful private beach in the paradise of Saint Lucia.

I grabbed a handful of sand and let it trickle from one palm to the other. Hoping it would have a relaxing effect on me, but as to be expected it didn't help any more than the 2 weeks alone here or the yoga classes or the massages.

Even my confusion was confused. And I had to admit to myself that already after a few days Arthur had almost completely disappeared from my mind. It just hurt too much to waste even one more minute thinking about him.

But then... then there were the feelings and thoughts of Roman. That was enough to keep me awake at night. How could I have been so stupid as to kiss my best friend? Why had I thought that was a good idea? Okay, fine... I knew why I thought it was a good idea. Because I actually thought that nothing would happen, that it wouldn't change anything. God, I was wrong.

What the hell was I supposed to do now? I had no idea. That was also the reason why I ran away so fast. I couldn't deal with it, with everything actually, at that moment. Normally, in a situation like this, I would write a song or create a new melody, but I hadn't brought a word, a note to paper.

At some point it started to get chilly, so I got up, although reluctantly, and made my way back to my bungalow, which was right on the waterfront. I wanted to order room service and then take a nice bath.

But when I unlocked the door I immediately saw a bouquet of white roses standing on my nightstand. I stopped. There were only two possibilities of who they could be from, but neither knew where I was. I wanted to surprise Arthur with this trip and Roman also had no idea where I had flown or rather fled to. But then it hit me.

"Oh Mom... What did you do?" I groaned as I bent my head back.

I went over to the bed and saw that a card was stuck between the flowers. With slightly trembling fingers I took out the small envelope, but did not open it just yet. I wasn't brave enough to do so at first.

But when the light in the room eventually faded, I decided to do it after all. The darkness helped me a little. As if it was a cape that wrapped around me.

Call me when you are ready to talk. x R

Well... that was the question of all questions. Was I ready to talk?

A few minutes later, I picked up my phone. I looked for the contact and dialed. It wasn't long before I heard his deep voice.

"Hi Shortcake... I'm glad you called," Roman said.