A Shattering Touch - Tomura Shigaraki X Reader

Chapter Twenty-Nine - Y/N

I love you as certain dark things are meant to be loved,

in secret,

between the shadow and the soul.        -Pablo Neruda

I sat in the doctor's main room, his experiment lab, with Ujiko himself, and Shigaraki. The cold metal of the gurney against my hand brought back unpleasant memories, and I had to fight off the nausea I felt as Tomura Shigaraki walked over to it.

I remembered how it felt as the machines tore into my skin, the pain clear as day as I was wide awake. I remember the cutting and the slicing and the invasive surgeries, all on my conscious self as if I was a corpse. I remember screaming until I lost my voice and gripping the metal of the gurney until my muscles were too weak. I remember wishing that I'd go into shock sooner so I could pass out and avoid some of the pain.

I also remember consenting to all of those surgeries, just like how Tenko was about to, and regretting it the second the machines broke skin.

Tenko tugged his shirt off over his head, leaving him in sweatpants that hung low on his hips, the waistband of his boxers peeking out. Scars lined his arms and abdomen, almost running opposite of his ab muscles. Scratches and bruises and scars ran in all directions along his shoulders and back, and self-inflicted scars covered his neck from years of incessant scratching. He stared at the hand he was holding. It survived the Re-Destro fight, but it wasn't Father. I don't even know which family member it belonged to. I don't even think he knew either.

He handed me his shirt, avoiding my eyes. Tenko isn't stupid. He definitely knew how I felt about him going under the doctor's knife. There's always a catch with Ujiko and Master, it's never as simple as just one procedure. Sometimes procedures would take months or years to complete, and sometimes, after the surgeries and procedures, the subjects would have to be suspended in a coma in one of the tanks filled with fluids of unknown origin. I remember waking up in one of those tanks once, because my subconscious was too powerful after I was given my telepathy. It was terrifying.

I just hope he handles it all better than I ever did. I held his shirt closer to my chest, and Ujiko glanced at both of us.

"You're sure about this, Tomura? You are already so powerful. Why do you wish to gain more power?"

"If someone offers me something, I don't often refuse it." He grinned, and handed me the hand, too. I grimaced, placing it down on a table nearby.

"You're going to be in hellish agony for four months." The doctor shrugged, motioning to me. "And she will too. Of course, it'll be just a quarter of the pain you're feeling, but as I'm sure Y/N can attest, a quarter of the pain is still quite a bit of pain."

I shuddered.

"Someone needs to be with you at all times." Tenko said quietly, his gaze sincere.

"Yes, he's right." The doctor nodded. "You've been through worse, Y/N. But it will be bad. Someone needs to be with you in case-"

"-In case you drop." Tenko cut in. "Someone better be there to drag your ass back to safety when I'm gone."

"How about Hawks?" I asked. Tenko's expression hardened.

"Absolutely not."

"He killed Best Jeanist, Tomura. He's not dumb enough to go against us when we literally have proof of him having the body. Also, I trust him. I think he's really on our side." I said quietly. I shifted the jacket to the side, so he could see the feather in the inner pocket. Realization passed over his face. "And wouldn't it make the most sense for him to keep an eye on me? Considering the facade I'm keeping up with him?