The Knives of My Mind

" Behind closed eyes and shattered hearts. "

For it was you with which I fell, but it was you, the same person who forgot me.
As much as I thought I loved and cherished you, I didn't. It wasn't until you let me go that I felt free.
But to say I never cared about you would be false. I cared about you... to a certain degree.
I always thought you were my key, but it was never me.

When I confronted you through the unseen text messages of a friend, you seemed like you still didn't care but wished me well.
And although now you don't care about me, I was never truly your priority if you could forget me that easily. It was never me, I could tell.
And I do care, I never stopped, however, from this pain you caused me, I still hope you go to hell.
I ignored my morals and gave you what you wanted, the thing I said I would never do, fucker had me under a spell.
And since we broke off, I've been extremely unwell.

I will still continue to cherish you, even if it has to be from the sidelines.
When you told me, you never save it, you'd never leave, it was a manipulative white lie.
When I read that text, the finality of it all, I read it with wide eyes.
For it it wasn't you that made everything feel like it was going quick, it was the wasted hours I spent with you; time flies, huh?

Despite this I have always admired you and the way you push through everything.
You were the one I thought I had planned on marrying.
Now it is our relationship I'm burying.

You will no longer see or hear from me, for I will continue to love you, just from a safe distance.
I will love you from the shades given by those whose hearts are broken and whose eyes are closed.
I will love you from the sidelines from what used to be devotion, except with a shattered heart.
I will love you from what used to be smiles plastered on faces which became nothing but disdain.
You from now on, you will be the one I excrete my feelings from; yet you will still be the one I so deeply loved.