The Knives of My Mind

" You were the one I thought I knew. "

For all the things we had been through, I thought I knew you, knew why you looked at me the way you did.
Whenever you turned me down, I felt so upset, like a mother punishing her kid.
When will you realize what I did was all for you?
I gave you my heart, fuck a piece of my soul it felt like. It feels like you said goodbye to everything we ever knew.
Why did you decide leaving me was the best choice? I'm know I'm not the easiest person to love,
But it made me realize it's the constant turmoil you were putting me through that I'm sick of.

Why were you the one I had to fall in love with? Why are you the one I had to have a heartbreak over?
And now the confidence I thought I was getting, is exponentially lower.
What about me was so hard to forgive? What part about me was so hard to understand?
You took something so beautiful, so grand, and turned it into something bland.
Why did you feel it was better to hurt me? Why did you feel it was better to break me?
Although this is something I will never forget, (because of the excruciating agitation) it was finally my time to flee.

Your love was something I became addicted to, lost myself in it even, and it's something I regret.
Once I realized it was the break from you that I needed, it also became the moment I knew I was still in your debt.
You paid me time and time again in great love with a hint of despair, that it was something I realized that couldn't just simply disappear.
You had me wrapped in your hands without even trying, when you looked at me the way you did, my mind started doing backflips, flip flops, and flying.

It was you, it was always you. I had loved you from the moment our eyes locked that first day.
It seems all our good memories have all disappeared and that it's nothing but gray.
You were the one I wanted to hold on to for life, someone I knew I would always love.
But now it's the very same person I thought I knew, that I am now forgetting.