The Knives of My Mind

" A stranger I used to know... "

I was in such a state of bliss, there was nothing more I wanted, nothing more I missed.
But as I approached the date of our timely arrival, it was you who I was hoping existed.
I didn't know when we would meet but I'm glad we did. For it was you I couldn't resist.
It was you that I knew I wanted, you were breathtaking and beautiful, funny even, for you I wished.
Why you never even had feelings for me I'll never know. But until I found out the reason, I was here; adrift.

You were so understanding and so funny, you knew exactly what to say and we had so many inside jokes.
Whenever I talked to you, there was not a single dull moment. But when you looked at me the way you did, I choked.
It felt like with every look you flashed me you pulled me in. I perceived it as you practically saying, "That's all folks!"
When did you feel it was okay to play with people's hearts? When did this become a reenactment of blokes?
This is when I realized that it wasn't you, it was your infatuation with a certain gender, also not mine. Not your own, right? In fact, I know now that what we had was a hoax.

You knew that my jokes were intolerable, yet you found it better to never tell me, you liar.
You were everything I had wanted besides your gorgeous beauty, you were my desire.
But since I realized you would never love nor treat me the same, never put me above anyone else, just makes me want to light you on fire.
Metaphorically, assuming I could, what you could've done to stop me? Since it was always you that made me feel like I was sitting on barbed wire.

I should've known you were never going to truly be there, since when I needed you, you cut me off.
And without me I know you'll be happier and I know you have someone else, but I'll make it tough.
I loved you and would've done anything. Now I will do nothing, for we are no longer best friends.