The Knives of My Mind

" Your ghostly phantom. "

I've laid with this one thought circling my mind countlessly. It never seemed to leave my mind... who were you?
As time rolled along and I strolled carelessly down what I had thought was life, you were the one constant.
The one thing I somehow found myself coming back to regardless of what I was doing and it hurt.
I never knew the pain in which you would cause me. You put me through a lot and yet... I still feel nothing.
You left me just how you found me. A glass half empty, broken, afraid, and fragile. Something to be played with.

I watched you as you went about life though the shackles that tied you to the floor, never allowed you to flourish.
I was with you to support you, I was the one who wanted to keep you close to me, but I watched you slowly disappear.
I reluctantly followed you, allowed you to consume me, forced myself to even think I 'loved' you.
I was so infatuated with the idea of you, the idea of what you could've been, that I dismissed all the bad.
When it was me who was at the mercy of your actions, I didn't know how to pull myself away from the pain I had become accustomed to.

I always wondered what would've been if I hadn't let you do what you did to me. If I had stopped it before it got worse.
You made me question things about myself, question my morals and the walls I had put up. What was it all for?
I let you in so easily... and as our sparks slowly turned into dimming lights, I realized, it was never enough.
I let you past every barrier in my brain, even the ones my soul ought to protect, and gave in. How did you do that?
How was I so naive as to put your needs before my own? My soul being crushed, me being left alone, with no one to blame other than myself.

I had made the mistake of trusting you, loving you, putting my faith in your hands blindly, thinking you'd have my best interest at heart.
Yet when all is said and done and we are no longer in contact, you seem to still talk about me like I had never left.
You talk to my friends weirdly now though, seeming like you've lost something when you lost me.
Your voice is all the more cold, stern and hard. You treat everyone with such heartless emotions.

When you took from me what I thought was special, when you turned around and stabbed me in the back.
I realized then and even now, that I never should've kept you around. I should've pushed you away that day.
The day in which I was broken, reaching out for anyone willing to take my hand and.. "help" me.
You warily took my hand and helped me to my feet at your own expense and destroyed me when you left.
You took a piece of my soul... so I took a piece of your heart.