Tell Me When I'm Good Enough [Scrim Fanfic]

XI

SCOTT

May 10th, 2016

I was on a downer, I fucking hated everything right now. All I wanted was to smoke my crack and go home but I couldn't, not while we were playing in sold out shows as an opening band. One of these days we'll be the ones selling out the shows... or in a grave, who knows? I wanted to be in a grave right now.

Everywhere we went people wanted pictures, can't they see I'm not happy? I'm not smiling on the inside but for some reason I'm smiling on the outside like a fucking idiot. It's always screaming out "I love my life" when really, I fucking hate it!!

"Yo, what's up man!" Gus walked over, our boy. I dapped with him, a huge ass smile on his face like my own. He was new to this game, younger than me, but fuck did he have a lot in life. He was doing well; another underground artist like us.

We both knew we weren't happy, but we were too high to do anything about our lives. Gus was on tour, and we were also on a small tour only doing a few dates here and there. Lorelei was back home, and we would be seeing her tonight.

I say we were on tour, but we weren't. We had done a few shows in California, so I'd swing by to see how Lorelei was doing at her work when I'd get the chance to. She always seemed happy when I'd pick her up in the shit box that we all seemed to love and hate, my car.

Having a female around the house was a nice touch to our masculinity, having someone different to come home to each night and just tell her all our problems. It's almost like she was one of the guys, but living in New Orleans, we didn't have her around every day, it was rare to see her within that same year.

We had decided to move back to New Orleans so staying with Lorelei over whatever month we were here in our hometown, Gus was also here touring with someone, I couldn't remember their name, but he going to California next and would be staying at Lorelei's place, giving him a free place to stay rather than paying stupid prices for a hotel.

Lorelei had been busy with stripping, and I think she was only staying busy since I wasn't texting her back as much as she would've liked to. I wanted to kiss her sometimes, but I know she wouldn't, I bring girls home to fill the emptiness that I was so desperately trying to avoid and she knew that, she would see them when she was around.

FLASHBACK

I, myself, was making out with one of the girls I had met, Lucy. We'd always fight then fuck to make up. In a way, I didn't feel anything for her it was the drugs doing it all. I needed more than just a quick fix in my daily life of drugs.

"You always do this, Scott. You never fucking listen to what I have to say. Instead, you're too interested in this shit." Lucy threw my prescription at me.

I grunted in protest, placing the bottle to the side as I got up. I wasn't in the mood to be lectured again. This was supposed to be a good day, Ari and I were finally getting music out there. People were loving it, and record deals were hitting us up from left right and center. We would never go with them since we decided to start G59 Records with Ivan two years ago.

I grabbed Lucy's arm to stop her from throwing anything else, her hand colliding with my cheek before I pinned her up against the wall. I have never laid my hand on a girl even when I'm high as fuck. I could never stomach the thought of a guy being able to hurt someone so much smaller than them. Humans in general were animals.

My lips roughly crashed onto Lucy's, savouring the taste of her cherry gloss covered lips. I slowly let go of her hands as she moved them to my shoulders, slowly slipping my knee between her legs to keep her where she was.