Tell Me When I'm Good Enough [Scrim Fanfic]

XXXIII

The person in the mirror staring back at me was someone who was gone, lost in his problems while destroying his life by creating new ones. He was hollow, an empty shell of a man- numb to this pain.

The dreads no longer a thing as I picked the remaining pieces to loosen the hair. I contemplated to shave it all off, but I wasn't in that era anymore to sport a shaven head. I placed the plastic comb to the side, satisfied with how my blonde hair hung freely, no longer knotted together.

I entered my room to change into some black sweatpants and a loose-fitting tank top before running my hand over my hair. The lack of dreads there felt nicer to the touch. I slipped my crocs on, stretching my back from the uncomfortable position I had slept in.

There were voices coming from the kitchen while I shuffled towards them, my feet felt too heavy to lift from the floor as I cleared my throat to let them know I was entering the room. I didn't need to hear them all talking shit about me behind my back.

Five heads turned my way; Lorelei, mom, dad, Aristos, and Talulla, she was holding Maia in her arms; seeing her reminded me of the first time I met Cora. The little smile on her face as I approached closer and took her from Talulla, giving her a rest as I raised Maia to my chest.

Everyone's eyes were on me, had I killed someone? "What?" I asked, keeping my eyes on Maia before raising them to look at wide eyes.

"Your dreads..." My mom started.

Jesus. "I needed a change." I told her. Maia started fussing, moving like a little worm as I kept her head supported with my arm.

"We've all been talking..." Lorelei started. "I bet you have." I mumbled under my breath, slowly rocking my body as Maia settled down.

"We think it's best if you go to rehab, Scott... you need the help, and it's hard to keep up with you especially with last night...-"

"What happened last night?" My mom's voice spoke up. "Nothing..." I muttered.

Lorelei scoffed a little. "It was hardly anything, Scott went out and fucked another girl. He came home, smelling of booze and had her lipstick all over him." My eyes snapped to Lorelei.

She didn't have to tell everyone our business or at least my business, they weren't part of this or our relationship, they didn't need to know. I gave Maia back to Lula, digging through the cabinets until I found a glass.

"Scott." My mom started. I hated that she would treat me like a child sometimes. I was in my late twenties not my teens anymore.

"What? I'm a fucking adult, I went to a friend's house and one thing led to another, it didn't mean shit. I was in my damn feeling for hurting you, and I keep seeing Elizabeth everywhere I look." I muttered, grabbing the orange juice from the fridge. What a shitty excuse.

I could hear my mom sigh lightly; I know for a fact she would be praying for me every fucking night. Hoping that I would get the help that I needed. She was there through it all, she saw me at my worst and my best days.

My mom was a saint especially when Lore had disappeared, leaving me to raise Cora alone. Had she not been there, I would've lost my way and given her over to a family member. Cora was raised by a village also known as my family.

FLASHBACK

"Cora get your little butt here, you need your diaper changed." Who the fuck said toddlers were fun? Mine was a mini crackhead, avoiding diaper change every second that she could and would literally eat everything that she would find on the floor.

"Cora Nyx Arceneaux, where are you hiding?" I mumbled under my breath. I needed to change her diaper, it was hanging like a sack of potatoes, she had peed so much that it was no longer holding.