Tell Me When I'm Good Enough [Scrim Fanfic]

XXXII

The consistent ringing of my phone started to agitate me as it vibrated against my thigh in my pocket, pulling the device out as I checked who was calling me... I had hundreds of missed calls.

25 missed calls — Mom
5 missed calls — Dad
49 missed calls — Lore💜
16 missed calls — Ari

I couldn't talk to any of them. I couldn't face the thought that I had hurt my mom physically, she had dealt with my problematic ass for years, put through hell while I was on drugs as a teen. She was now dealing with my younger brother who was now doing exactly what I had done for years. Our momma deserved her fucking flowers in life for raising the biggest failure in life.

I ran my fingers through my dreads, catching my ring on them. "Fucking shit." I muttered under my breath. I looked up at the chick that came walking over to me, a small micro top covering the pierced nipples on her chest.

Here I am sat in Lorelei's old work, having some random chick dance on my lap. I wasn't going to get hard; I barely had feeling down there right now. I snorted a line of heroin before my ass came in here.

My head fell back, facing the ceiling as my hands held this random chick's hips. Her ass rolling circles into my crotch, desperately trying to make me hard for her. "Nadia." A voice broke me from the trance of my own mind.

"I need you to go fix your makeup." The dancer who was basically dry humping my shit left quicker than she had got here. I lifted my head ready to protest then rolled my eyes as Rico sat across from me.

"I ain't need no lecture." I told him. Rico and I had become closer after Lorelei and Cora had gone missing, keeping me in line with his dramas while paying me enough to fuel my drug habit.

He chuckled lightly, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "Lorelei called me, she's worried about you." He took a long draw from the cancer stick before offering me it.

I chuckled lightly, taking the cigarette and took my draw- shrugging my shoulders to his words. What could I say? I was afraid to go back home, I was scared that Lorelei would want to leave me for being an addict again.

"She ain't got shit to worry about." I ran my hand through my dreads, shaking them loose in hopes to end this talk. Rico always likes to talk his way out of shit.

"You were told to get off that shit before we found her." Rico's face of disapproval made my eyes roll again as I stood up from the chair.

"Also said I ain't want no lecture." I stubbed the cigarette into one of the empty ashtrays, getting ready to leave again. The only place I could go without my card or cash on me.

"You ain't got nowhere else to go right now..." Rico sighed lightly. "Come to my office and we'll talk there." Rico stood up, patting my shoulder on his way past.

I sighed deeply, rubbing my face as I stood up. I didn't feel like going to his office, so I left the club, at some point he'd call me or hunt me down, but I wasn't in the mood to hear more of his lecture.

The sun was slowly beginning to set, and I still didn't want to go home. I checked the time, six-thirty pm. I scrolled through each text message I had received, leaving them all on read until I came across her name, the one I was looking for.

are u free rn?
need someone to talk to.
shit ain't good.

I'm free
you can come over

see u in 5

🩷

I ran my hand over my head as I walked a couple of blocks from the club, taking me a lot longer than five minutes. I was never on time to anything if I could I'd be late to every show that I had ever done in my life. Our fanbase had grown a lot, but I was no longer making music for them to relate to, I had stepped back from that light for a while.