Why Won't You Just Admit It?

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I was in Sam's kitchen preparing food for the bonfire that night thinking how much my life had changed. Things had slowed down a lot in the last 5 years. After Edward and the rest of the Cullen's left, Sam found me in the woods that night. He imprinted on me instantly. The months following that night, Sam and I spent time together getting to know each other. After a couple of months, Sam confided in me and told me that he was a shape-shifting wolf and then he explained what imprinting was. I had to admit it was a little overwhelming at first. Then other boys started to phase. Jared was the second and then Paul. Paul didn't like me at first because of my history with the Cullen's but once he realized that I was now the wolf girl his attitude towards me change. After a while Paul started calling me the pack mother.

Shortly after graduating from high school, I started spending most of my time at Sam's. I was taking online classes to get my culinary degree so that I could open up a small restaurant near La Push. That was the dream.

I was pulled from my thoughts by Sam wrapping his arms around me from behind. He leaned down and kissed the side of my neck. I couldn't help the smile on my face. "Are you ready to admit it yet?" He whispered in my ear.

He was testing me. I leaned my head back against his chest. "Admit what?" I joked.

Sam loosened his grip around my waist and gripped my hips. "Admit that you want to move in with me." He said calmly.

I set the knife down and turned in his arms. "Sam...we've talked about this." I said. He knew my fears about moving in with him. He knew that I was worried that if I moved in with him that it would lead to marriage and it wasn't exactly something that I wanted...at least not in the foreseeable future.

"Becky,honey, you're here most of the time anyway. Charlie gives your mail to Billy or Jake to give to me." Sam said. And it was true. I couldn't remember the last time that I had slept in my bed at Charlie's. Sam was right. Anytime Charlie saw Billy, he gave him my mail to give to Sam. I turned back to the counter to begin cutting the sandwiches up. "Becks, we've talked about this. Just because you move in here doesn't mean that we have to get married. Because of our imprint, in the eyes of the Elders we're already married. If you don't want to get married legally, I'm okay with that. I just want you to be happy." Sam said, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I know that Sam. I just feel like it's a big step. I don't know if we're ready for that." I said.

"Becks, honey, we've been together for 4 years. If not now...when?" He asked.

"I need to get this food done." I said, hoping that he'd drop the conversation for now.

He sighed. "Alright. The boys and I are going for a run but we'll be back to load the food up." He said.

"Alright." I said.

After I heard the front door close, I began to think about what Sam had said. Maybe he had a point. I mean, we'd been together longer than the other imprinted couples. Jared and Kim had been together almost as long as we had and they moved in together six months after they got together. Rachel moved in with Paul after only a week. Hell, Leah moved in with Jake the day they graduated. The biggest thing though, was that I really did love being here with Sam. Maybe he had a point. Technically in the eyes of the tribe we were already married so if we didn't want a big ceremony we didn't have to have one. And I mean it was the next logically step in our relationship.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of the phone ringing. I quickly reached over and answered it. "Hello?" I said as I started wrapping up the sandwiches.

"Hey Becks." Dad said.

"Hey Dad how's it going?" I asked.

"It's going. You okay? You sound distracted."

"Oh its nothing. Just Sam's trying to convince me to move in." I said.

"You still haven't agreed to that." Dad said surprising me.

"You think I should do it?" I asked.

"Becks...you love the guy. You haven't spent much time here since you graduated high school. What's the real problem? Does this have to do with your mother and me?" He asked. Silence. "I should have known. Becky, just because my marriage with your mother didn't work out, doesn't mean that the same thing is going to happen to you." Dad said.

I knew that he was right. But I still had my doubts. "Dad it's not just that. I don't know I can't really explain it. I mean I love being here with Sam, but what if it's not meant to be." I said, even though I knew that was a lie. Sam and I were soul mates.

"Oh...I see. I know what this is about." Dad said and I rolled my eyes. "Your still feeling your abandonment issues aren't you? You think that Sam is going to up and leave you just like Cullen did?"

I rolled my eyes again. "Dad, don't be ridiculous. That was years ago." I said.

"Then what is it, Becks?" Dad asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just over reacting to this whole thing." I say.

"I think you are. I know that you think that everything is going to change if you agree to move in with him, but Becks...just know that no matter what I'm here for you." Dad said.

I smiled. It was exactly what I needed to hear. "Thanks dad." I said before he hung up.

I spent the next couple of hours finishing up the rest of the food for the bonfire. When I was done I decided to sit at the kitchen island and wait for the boys. I thought about everything. I decided to go over my decision in my head once more. Sam was right. Dad was right. I knew that Sam and I wouldn't end up like my parents, because we were soul mates. It was time for me to take the jump.

I was sitting at the kitchen island when the boys walked in. Paul and Jared started loading the food into coolers to put in the back of Sam's truck. Sam walked over and kissed my forehead. "Can we talk?" I asked him.

He nodded. We walked upstairs to Sam's bedroom...our bedroom. When we walked in, Sam shut the door behind us. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "What's on your mind?" He asked me.

"I spent the afternoon thinking about everything...moving in, my doubt...everything. Dad thinks that I won't do it because I somehow still feel my abandonment issues from when Edward left...I don't know, maybe deep down somewhere that's a part of it. But what I do know, is that it doesn't have to do with my fear of becoming my parents like I originally thought." I said. I slowed down realizing that I was now rambling. I took a deep breath. "I guess what I'm saying is that you and dad are right. I do spend most if not all of my time here. I can't even remember the last time that I even stayed at Charlie's." I told him.

Sam leaned down and kissed the side of my neck. "So are you ready to admit it yet?" He asked me.

I looked up at Sam through my eyelashes. "Yes." I said.

"Yes what?" He said with a smirk.

I smirked back at him. "Sam...I love to move in with you." I said.

He leaned down and kissed me. "It only took three years for you to agree." He said, when he pulled back.

"And your impossible." I said.

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