Someone who cares, someone I care.

Chapter 27: Someone to cherish

This chapter is Revenant PoV

The girl and I've been locked down together for five days now. Both of us got our routines set and I enjoy watching her work.

I can't say how she is doing but I am getting hella nervous day after day.

Living together confirmed what I already guessed:

I have fallen for that woman.

Can't tell when that feeling developed but it had grown way too much to fully repress it now. Every time I'm next to her, I gotta fight with myself to avoid getting too touchy and saying stupid things I could regret.
And I'm not even talking about my cooling system regularly selling me off.

It's going out of control and I feel mentally exhausted. I would like to simply tell her; finally getting my shits together and assuming my feelings.

I would like to, but I can't.

Whatever she says about me, whatever the effort I made to behave, I'm still a bot made to kill based on my past hitman life. She deserves better.

I'm pathetic.

I'm imagining all of this like she would feel the same anyway. Her being so nice to me always lights up that little hope of getting loved in return. Always forgetting that it's something natural for her to be kind toward anybody.

I can't deny, I'd be damn happy if she loved me back.

... It has been five minutes that I'm staring at the same page of my book. Gladly, she didn't notice or she would've asked what's the matter. I'm running out of excuses and I won't lie to her. I never lied to anybody and I don't want to start with her.
I don't like to lie anyway. Hiding the truth, playing with words or even keeping my mouth shut... but not lying.

She puts a sponge on the side:

"Pfiuu... done cleaning the kitchen. Gonna do the bathroom now."

We frequently clean our space so we won't get overwhelmed with chores. But today, she seems agitated and can't sit for a damn minute.

I wonder if it works.

"No, you get some rest, I'm doing the bathroom."

She is about to complain but I let her know this is non-negotiable.

I take another sponge and some products before locking myself up. Being alone will allow me to think without getting distracted. I start with the shower and the tiles around it.

Time passes and I'm done cleaning and sanitizing everything that could be. I better understand why she was putting all her soul into the work. I was focused on the task and all my thoughts were gone.

But now I'm facing the door and I know it will all come back again.

What should I do?

My eyes glide around me like they are searching for an answer with whatever lies in the room.
They finally rest on the little shelf next to the entrance. Mostly lotions and make-up are filling the space but something is attracting my sight.