innocent

gone

Cecelia finally found the strength to stand up with the help of Steve. When Steve stood up, he was holding his side in pain. His eyebrow and his lip was bleeding.

Cecelia had a large bruise forming on her cheek with a gash going through it, blood was dripping down. Her nose was still gushing blood, all of it going onto her white suit.

The two walked over to Thor, taking deep breaths. Thanos was gone, no where to be seen. "Where'd he go?" Steve asked, breathing heavily. "Thor." Steve said as Cecelia looked around for Bucky.

"Bucky?" Cecelia shouted as she went into the opposite direction of him. "Buck?" She asked she saw Vision, dead, his body was gray and he was laying there, lifeless.

She looked to see Wanda over him, and she went into dust. She walked around, looking afraid. She knelt down next to Wanda, her hand going down to where her ashes were.

"Sam!" She heard Rhodey yell as Cecelia furrowed her eyebrows. Cecelia got back up and ran.

"Bucky!" She yelled looking around. Steve had run in, kneeling down next to Vision. He stared at him, rolling him into his back.

Natasha came running in, seeing Steve there next to Vision. Her hand went to her stomach as Steve sat down.

"What is this? What the hell is happening?" Rhodey asked as Cecelia looked for Bucky. There was only a couple of them there.

"W-where's Bucky?" Cecelia asked as tears filled her eyes. "Steve, where...where's Bucky, where's my dad?" Cecelia asked as a single tear went down her cheek. Steve stared ahead as Cecelia felt her legs feel like jelly. Where was Bucky? Where was her father?

Natasha put her arms around Cecelia, letting her fall into her. Cecelia wrapped her arms around her, Natasha being the only thing holding her up.

"No..." Cecelia trailed off as Natasha held her. Her head went on her shoulder as Natasha rubbed her back.

"It's ok." Natasha said as Steve's heart broke.

"No, can't we reverse it?" Cecelia asked, Natasha didn't know what to say. She held on to Cecelia, as Cecelia sobbed into the crook of her neck.

-

3 weeks passed.

3 weeks of Cecelia missing Bucky.

Cecelia kept herself isolated, she only came down for food, which she barely ate. She would just sit there, and write. Write in the small notebook she had.

That's currently what she was doing.

Dear Diary,

I miss Bucky. It's been 3 weeks since the "blip" that's what people are calling it now. I've been in the Avengers compound, for all of those 3 weeks. I haven't done anything in the 3 weeks.

I'm losing pages in this, and I don't know what to do when I don't have a notebook anymore. I don't know what to do when I can't let my feelings into a notebook. Usually I had Bucky, but I don't anymore. He's gone.

I just want Bucky, I want my dad back. I want him to braid my hair, and listen to me. I want to stay with him at night, and let him hold me until I fall asleep. I miss my dad. That's all I want. I miss my Bucky.

-Cecelia Barnes

"Hey, Ceil. Please eat." Steve said as he watched her scribble words into her notebook. Her head rested on her hand as she did so. She looked up at him and closed her notebook. She put it into the pocket of his sweatshirt that he'd given her.

"Did you find a way to get him back?" Cecelia asked as she grabbed her glass of water. Steve shook his head no, looking down.

"We're trying." He said, Cecelia put her water down. She took her head off of her hand and stared down at her sandwich.

"I'm not hungry." Cecelia said shoving her plate away. Steve placed it back in front of her. He knew she was grieving, he was grieving as well. He lost a lot of people who were important to him. But he had to stay strong for Cecelia.

"You gotta eat." He told her, Cecelia hit her head on the table.

"Can you stop trying to act like my dad? Because you're not!" Cecelia exclaimed before storming away. Steve sighed as she ran upstairs. He heard a door slam as he leaned on the counter.

Cecelia got into her bed, digging her head into her pillows. She cried into them, now feeling bad for yelling at Steve like that. She was like a ticking time bomb anymore, at any second she could just blow.

That's what it was like the past 3 weeks. When days got easier, the next day was horrible. It was the calm before the storm everyday.

Cecelia curled up into a ball, thinking about Bucky again. It probably made everything worse, but he made her feel comforted. She wished Bucky was with her, his arm around her whispering it would be ok, even if it wasn't going to be ok.

Cecelia laid there for about 30 minutes, Steve was downstairs counting. It took her around that time until she stopped crying. Sometimes she'd be asleep, and sometimes she would be staring at her wall blankly. Steve would knock, and he'd get silence, or soemthing out of her. Sometimes it would be "Go away" or it would be "Who is it?", sometimes she knew it was Steve or Natasha, and she'd say "Go away, Steve" or "Go away, Natasha." it was whoever she had a match with. Natasha would usually talk sense into her, and then comfort her. Steve with comfort her, every time. It never got old. Both worked out, every.single.time.

This time, it was Steve knocking at her door. His head was leaned up against it, as he listened. "Come in." She said, her voice shaky. That was a new one. Cecelia was laying on her bed, still crying.

"I'm sorry." She said. That was also new. Accountability. Steve put her sandwich on her dresser and sat on the edge of her bed.

"I know you miss him, I miss him to." Steve said as he heard Cecelia sniffle. She wiped her eyes as Steve sat there.

"I don't know what to do, Steve." Cecelia cried, Steve sighed as he patted her leg.

"Neither do I, Ceil...Neither do I." He said as she started to sit up.

"Still have that sandwich?"

a/n:
so if y'all want a guide on how to traumatized characters, read this:

•give them both mommy and daddy issues
•make sure they watch their parents die, bc where would the fun be if they didn't die i. front of a little kid's face.
•make sure you give them a dependable father figure and then one day that father figure kinda dusts away
•a definite thing to do is to make the character have attachment issues and horrible anxiety and ptsd. that is a major thing you MUST do.

so that is the end of my tutorial, i hope you all enjoyed!!

lol you thought. 

#orphanlife

hehehehehe

anyways ummmm, how can i make it up to you guys? like there's gonna be some happy content without bucky butttt it's okay!

jk no it's not.

but my tears ricochet rn, "and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want just not home" like bucky and ceily rn, bc yk...ceily can't go home: HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA jk.

ok one more, one more. you're on your own kid, if cecelia heard t.s songs she would be crying her eyes out

but i can see natasha and cecelia being such reputation baddies asf.