To say cooking was not a talent of Cecelia Barnes, it was true. Making a simple plate of eggs was disgusting. They were all burnt, and there were eggshells in the scrambled eggs.
"It's...really crunchy." Bucky commented as he picked up a charred piece of toast. Making toast was a struggle. Why was that? Nobody would ever know.
"You don't like it, do you." Cecelia said conserving how he acted around the food. His facial expression was really trying to smile.
"No, no, doll. I like it." Bucky said as Cecelia shook her head, a smile growing on her face. Bucky hated it, it tasted disgusting.
"No you don't." Cecelia said as Bucky hit the burnt toast against the table. A hard sound was heard, it sounded almost like a rock.
"It's just different." He said, staring at the toast. Cecelia laughed as she took the plate from him. "You have a lot more talents than cooking." Bucky said standing up. He reached over Cecelia to grab a box of cereal.
"Sleep well?" Bucky asked, knowing the answer. She hadn't come out of her room, so it was a better sign? Maybe. Maybe it was worse and she was hiding emotions. Now Bucky just stressed himself out.
"It was alright." Cecelia shrugged her shoulders, visions of her dreams flashing in her mind. She blinked them away, or tried to. She clicked her thumb as she walked over to the sink. "Dr. Raynor's not helping, so." Cecelia admitted, Bucky nodding in agreement. She scrubbed the plate as she stared out their window.
"She just enjoys bullshitting me." Cecelia said, Bucky looked at her. He knew she was about to start rambling. "You're free." Yeah, free my ass, I still have to live with myself." Cecelia said, scrubbing the plate harder. Bucky looked over again as he grabbed two bowls for their cereal.
"Ya know, I lasted 5 years without some bullshit therapy, how come now I have to do it?" Cecelia asked, as Bucky poured cheerios into their bowls.
"I-"
"It's stupid! It's not helping, it's not working. I still get nightmares, nothings going to work, and nothing ever going to work. Because I'm at the point where I'm-" Cecelia was scrubbing the plate so harshly there was no more germs. Bucky put his hands on her shoulders. He didn't want her to finish that sentence, but she did. "-unfixable." she finished as she grabbed a rag to dry off the plate.
"Take a deep breath, put in the TV and I'll be in there in a minute." Bucky said and Cecelia stormed off. Hearing him saying how he'd see her in a minute. She hated that, she hated it so, so much.
Cecelia walked to her jacket at the counter, she went into the pocket of it, searching for her journal. She only found the small book of her amends. She furrowed her eyebrows as she took the jacket off the chair, searching in each pocket.
"дерьмо!" (shit) Cecelia yelled as she walked into her bedroom. Her door hit the wall as she opened it ever so harshly.
"Hey!" Bucky warned as Cecelia searched her bed. Her hand started to slightly shake as she looked for the brown, leather covered journal. It held so much of her and she didn't want someone to find it.
"I can't find it!" Cecelia yelled as she searched under her mattress. There she only saw a knife and a hand gun. Was it risky? Yes. Was it safe? No. Did she ever let her guard down? For most people, no.
"What are you looking for?" Bucky asked as he rushed into her room. Cecelia out a hand through her hair as she looked. She looked at him, her arms falling at her sides.
"My journal! I'm looking for my journal!" Cecelia exclaimed as she stormed out of her room. Bucky followed her as her breathing quickened.
"I'll just grab you paper-"
"No, I want the journal."
When Cecelia first started journaling it was for Bucky. They would be in the car and she would talk non stop, and Bucky needed a break from her sometimes. It's wasn't that he didn't love her, because he loved her more than anything, but it was that he needed to calm down. He needed to think, and having a kid talking at what felt 1,000,000 times per hour, it wasn't easy.
So she did that when Bucky needed awhile, but then it became more often than not. She started to do it to learn how to read and write.
Then it just finally did it as a habit. When Bucky was still around, they had a "dedicated Bucky time". It sounds boring, and stupid, but Bucky needed the time. It was basically a nap time with no napping.
She also wrote so she wouldn't forget. She was afraid of forgetting everything if someone said the words. So she'd keep that on her so she would remember everything if Celia found it. She could read it and remember, if she could remember that much.
In Wakanda, she did it, not often, but weekly. Wakanda was the only calm she ever had, so she didn't have to ramble off her thoughts. She was calm for once in her life.
When Bucky blipped, it became a daily thing to do. All of her thoughts and feelings would go into the book. She went through several journals, sometimes more than 3 pages were filled a day. She was always writing.
Now it was a habit, she still spoke to Bucky, but she wrote a lot now. She never left anywhere without her journal.
"Hey, calm down, just take a deep breath." Bucky said, his hands going on her shoulders. Cecelia scratched the back of her neck as she looked at him. "What if you call Dr. Raynor, and ask if you left it there." Bucky said and Cecelia nodded her head as he put a strand of hair behind her ear.
"And if you can't find it, we'll get you a new one. Okay?" Bucky asked, Cecelia nodded her head. Bucky took a deep breath as Cecelia looked up at him.
"Go sit down." He said to her, Cecelia nodded and went to the living room. She grabbed the remote as she sat in front of the couch and turned on the TV.
"While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America's greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America."
a/n:
so the next chapters is ceily kinda just hating on john walker....
YOU ARE READING
innocent
FanfictionBehind The Winter Soldier was the Hydra Soldier. The Hydra Soldier was his student, his right hand man, his partner. The Hydra Soldier was a kid, a little girl by the name of Celia.
