innocent

silent treatment

"The GRC is conducting raids to find Karli. But so far they've only found her followers. They've searched this camp, and just like the last camp, nothing."

Sam was standing in a room with Cecelia and Bucky. They were getting ready to leave and go back home soon. They had gotten in contact with Torres, and him and the plane would be here.

"She's gone. We'll never find her."

Sam's words put a pang through Cecelia's heart. Karli was her first person she'd felt romantically for. The first person, ever. So hearing that she was gone, it sent shockwaves through her heart.

Cecelia was there for Karli at the funeral for Donya. She held her hand, comforted her. Gave her some kind of hope even. She stood by Karli when she killed Lamar, running with her, trying to get her to be safe.

But when Karli saw Cecelia's expression after seeing that shield, she ran. She ran from Cecelia, and ran from her feelings. She ran from her problem, and left Cecelia with it. Leaving her heartbroken and alone.

"Hey, you uh, you got your sleeve back." said the cheery voice of Torres as he walked inside. Bucky rolled his eyes and stopped leaning on the rail. He patted Cecelia's back, motioning her to leave.

He was giving Sam and everyone else but her the silent treatment. He was angry at Sam, and how he could do that. Give the shield up. He couldn't understand how Sam felt, but he knew how he felt. And he hated Sam for what he did.

"Are you off to take care of Zemo?" Sam asked, making Bucky come to a stop at the doorway. He turned his head, and then turned back around, walking away.

"All right, good to know you survived." Torres said, clasping his hands together.

"Reminds me of Spiderboy or whatever he calls himself." Bucky said to Cecelia, making her slightly smirk. She leaned into him, and his arm went around her. She slightly smiled as she walked with him.

"Really?" She asked and he nodded.

"Where're we going?" Cecelia asked as Bucky sighed.

"You are going home, I'm going to get Zemo. And you're going to take a nap, and have a lot of ice." He said as his hand went on her good shoulder. She looked up at him, giving a small nod.

"Don't think I'm gonna argue this one." She said as she dug into her jacket pocket. She took out her gun and handed it to him.

"Never made an amend with him." Cecelia said, frowning as she looked up at him. She took out her book as she looked at the names. "He was my 2nd to last." She said as she read through them, Bucky over her shoulder reading it to.

"Yeah you did." Bucky said and Cecelia shook her head no.

"No, I did..." She trailed off as she looked at it. Her thumb traced over his name.

Baron Zemo x

"I..."

"Text the shrink, doll." Bucky said as she looked up at him. She nodded her head and put it back inside of her jacket.

"I didn't-"

"I'll ask him about it."

"You're gonna have a conversation with him?" Cecelia asked him, as if he told a joke. Bucky tilted his head to the side as he looked at her.

"Yeah, ok. You were gonna wound up having one." She said and he sighed.

"Go with Sam, and uh, you get home, and I'll be home, alright?" He asked as he turned. He put his hand on her cheek and she nodded her head.

"Ok." She said and he planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Are you sure I cant go with you?" Cecelia asked him, Bucky frowned at her.

"You said you wouldn't argue." He said and she shrugged her shoulders, slightly wincing when she felt a pain.

"Why can't I go?" Cecelia asked as Bucky pulled her into a hug. His arms went around her as he held her in his arms. Cecelia was worried, and maybe slightly realizing she did have an attachment issue.
A slight one, a very very slight one.

"Because." Bucky said to her, without any explanation. Cecelia slightly chuckled as she shook her head.

"Because isn't an answer." She said, quoting what she said as a nine year old. Bucky looked down at her.

"Because is my answer." He quoted, Cecelia held him tighter and he kissed her head again.

"I love you, doll."

"I love you more."

"I love the most."

-

When Cecelia arrived home, she had sat down on her couch. Bucky had messaged her many times, he was now on his flight home from Siberia. It was reaching 6 p.m., and he wouldn't be home until much later.

So with an ice pack on her shoulder, and a pen in her hand, and a journal on her lap, she sat like a lump on a log, writing.

April 14, 2023

Dear Diary,

Cecelia here again, unsurprisingly. I haven't written in awhile due to my bitch social worker, I would've written about that phony cap, but I haven't. So here I am now, doing it.

We broke Zemo out of jail. The guy who brainwashed me, caused Bucky and I nearly our lives, got us out of hiding, and caused the Avengers to break apart. THAT ZEMO. So he ended up being a big help, kinda.

We had to break Zemo out of jail because of this thing, and yeah. I also met a girl named Karli.

I like Karli, a lot. A lot A lot. Romantically if you know what I mean. Karli comes off as strong, but she's really kinda misunderstood, like me. She had enough of a motive to go on a killing spree, which was one of her few cons (if there was a pros and cons list [which would be horrible and never do that because it is mean and i don't have a pros and cons list]) anyway, I like her. We kissed and stuff, but U don't think it meant a lot to her.

I feel like I did a lot for her, I stayed with her when she had a tough time, and when Phony Captain America killed a man with Steve's shield, she saw my face and went running.

Then we went and beat up John Walker, who apparently got the Super Soldier serum? Real nice, John. He also popped my shoulder out WITH STEVE'S SHIELD. Then Bucky told me to stay down, and ordered me like he was a soldier again.

That one hurt.

Alls forgiven now, I also had a mental breakdown, but we ignore that part. Hopefully Bucky doesn't snitch to my therapist or whatever, not that I think he would. But if she found out, I'd be in another session talking about how to control myself and my breathing because i had an anxiety attack or some shit.

I don't know.

What i do know is that i'm fucked up, won't deny that. I'm crazy, but my own kind.

That sounds weird to say but it's true.

-Cecelia Barnes

a/n:

i was going to do something very cruel yesterday...
so yk how it's like april fools, so i was gonna write a chapter and just kill cecelia off for fun because why the fuck not and then put april fools but i decided i was not going to do that.