Castles Crumbling

Travel (Chapter 1)

I felt when the plane hit the ground. Not that it was a particularly bad landing I was just very tense. It was my second time in England and this time I was here to stay. I had signed with Arsenal right before the euros and over the summer I had regretted that decision many times. Especially after we lost against England with 4-0. Most players in Arsenal were English and I knew they wouldn't make fun of me because of it but it was always a bit awkward. I didn't mind awkward, but it was a while since I last had to endure the first awkward weeks with a new team.

I started playing for FC Barcelona when I was 18, working my way up to their A-team and I had stayed at Barcelona for five years. A change was needed and that's why I decided to make the move. With Arsenal offering a way to high salary, it was an easy decision that I would make the move. Of course, I was going to miss my old teammates and friends but maybe I had a shot at making some new here. And if I didn't then I would have a few years without friends. I would manage, I had before but I had barely made it out alive of that. I reminded myself that I was older now, and not the same person I was back then. I was much stronger now, with less feelings to bother me. Of course they resurfaced occasionally. Every time that happened, I would get my period later and that would explain why I felt them.

The cold air hit me as soon as I walked out of the airplane. I had forgot that the weather in London was shit all the time. Sweden wasn't known for having the best weather but at least it had been nice where I lived. The occasional rain and snow but it was almost never bad enough that I couldn't play football. When the trainings were cancelled, I would go to the court outside my house and practice alone. Sometimes I would practice my corners, my shots and passings. But most of the time I just worked on my condition and strength.

It was a long walk to the baggage claim, I had gotten information that someone would be waiting for me there, but I never knew who it would be. Most of my stuff had been sent earlier but I still had two big bags full of clothes and a smaller backpack with snacks and my electronics. At the baggage band I saw two girls, holding a sign with my name and the Arsenal badge. Of course, it was Beth Mead and Vivianne Miedema. Both players I had lost important games against. I wasn't going to let that cloud my judgement and walked towards them. When they saw me, I could see Beth jumping up and down with Vivianne looking at her like she was stupid. Then saying a few words and the jumping from Beth stopped. I hoped she was just excited about my arrival and not anything else.

"Welcome to Arsenal, I'm Beth and the girl beside me is Viv. We are both so excited that you signed for us. Right Viv?" Beth said with a big smile on her face. "Of course." Viv answered. "Thank you for picking me up. I would have taken a taxi, but the coach insisted that someone would pick me up." I said with a small smile. "He is that way, plus we couldn't have you taking a taxi when coming to us. That is not how Arsenal works." Beth continued. "Well, all of the stuff you sent are at the training facility. We will have to go there and pick it up, give you a tour and then go to our house. They are still figuring out housing for you. No apartments are open for rent close to the training grounds. Very sorry about that." Viv said. She seemed to be more serious and a bit shy. When you compared her to Beth, they were polar opposites. I was happy that at least one of them were calm, it made me feel less stressed about the move.

The car ride to the training ground were awkward to say the least. Beth was asking me a million questions and I answered them all. None of them were very personal and I was happy about that. I wasn't a person who shared everything with everyone, I was a bit secretive which made a lot of people attracted to me. Nowadays I could barely open TikTok or Instagram and not being with thirst traps of me, edits with me and different girls and so on. Everyone seemed to know who I was dating, or at least the thought so. No one had yet to be right about my relationship. Since I had just broken up with my girlfriends and was once again single. Not that they had known about us, even though we had been together for like three years.

That relationship had been the only thing keeping me in Barcelona and as soon as she found out about me signing for Arsenal, she had shown her true side. We were just constantly fighting, and she blamed everything on me and I had just snapped. I forced her of our shared apartment to pack up my stuff and moved in with a teammate the same day. After that I just stopped paying rent for the apartment and she could never afford it by herself, so she stopped renting it. Her name was the only one on the contract, so it never gave me any problems. And now about 2 months later I was here in England without an apartment. Maybe it was karma for leaving her or maybe it was just bad luck. I hoped for the later of those options. I had never thought I had bad karma, but I was starting to question it after the breakup. Football was always my priority, before relationships and maybe that wasn't how it was supposed to be. I had no idea, since football had been a big part of my life since I was five. I played with boys until I was twelve and my body started to change. I never had many curves but at that time my boobs started to grow and it made me and my male teammates uncomfortable. I started playing with a junior team and soon enough I was playing with the A-team. Not all games but most of them.

My football career had made people jealous and when I started the gymnasium at 15, I was constantly bullied for looking like a boy, playing football and being one of the few openly queer people in school. I would never say I enjoyed it or that it made me stronger because no one should have to go through that. It made my life suck and contributed to my mental health being shit. But I survived and was here five years later with a higher paying job than them, success and almost being a celebrity. That was more than anyone of them had accomplished. I hated myself for being happy about that, but I like to think that it was only fair. That somehow it was punishment for what they made me go through.

I can't belive that people want to read what I have written so here is the next part. Probably really bad since it is written in the middle of the night but enjoy.

Love E