Ordained

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Cassius walked Ottilie back to the manor like a gentleman. "I shall leave you for a few hours. You must have much to pack and I do not wish to be an imposition." He voiced aloud, preemptively avoiding the possibility of yet more sitting and drinking tea. His mind was fixed on the bench by the waterside where a certain blonde was sat reading. Ottilie pouted but collected herself.

"Really, I can ask my ladies to handle-"

Cassius feigned politeness. "No, I shall not keep you from your travel preparations just to spend more time with me. I shall see you at dinner." He smiled, bowing before turning on his heel and leaving her at the door to the manor.

With long strides he moved to disappear into the gardens before she could call him back. A lightness in his chest seemed to grow with each step he took. It was a fair walk to where he had seen Emmeline, but that was all the better as far as he was concerned. No one would bother them.

Bother them? He called himself out, stopping his thoughts in their tracks. What was he expecting to do that would require them not to be 'bothered' as he had thought? Nothing he told himself firmly.

Nothing at all.

Picking up the pace it took him a good thirty minutes to find her. She was in the same position, hunched over the book on her lap, the breeze off the lake moving her hair from her face now and then.

"How is the book looking today?" He asked, smiling when she jumped in surprise.

Spinning in her seat she frowned up at him. "You made me start."

He surprised his grin; she was always telling him off whenever they saw each other. Yet for some reason he found this amusing rather than offensive. "Sorry."

There was an air of hesitancy about her, but she still waved away his apology, always forgiving him so quickly. "The book is the same. If anything the scuff looks worse in the light." Emmeline sighed deeply, turning the book over in her hands. A length of ribbon protruded from the pages, a bookmark. Cassius spied it, wondering where it had come from, was it a hair ribbon, or had she pulled it from a gown? His thoughts spiralled around the piece of fabric, caught up in the endless possibilities of where it had come from.

Shaking himself he mentally slapped himself. Gods you are being pathetic. He scolded himself. Was he, Cassius Marcellus, really so fixated on this girl that he cared where her ribbon came from?

He shook his head subconsciously, but deep down he knew that the answer was yes. He had let himself obsess over the idea of Emmeline. Watching her from afar, stealing moments with her; and he had filled the gaps in his waking hours with thoughts of her. This wasn't a new behaviour for him. There had been times in the past when he had become infatuated with beautiful ladies; spending hours thinking about them and what they might be like. Unlike those other times however, Emmeline didn't fall short of his expectations. She was every bit as witty, pretty, and independent as he imagined her to be whilst watching her from his window.

Suddenly remembering that they had been mid-conversation, he rushed to answer her. "I'll buy you a new one." He blurted out.

Emmeline raised an eyebrow questioningly like she thought him odd. "If you wish, your grace. This book belongs to your library, not mine." With a nonchalant shrug she tipped the book into his hand, her fingers brushing across his palm as she did so.

Cassius flexed his hand to capture hers, but she was too fast, his fingers running over the back of her hand as she pulled away. "It bothers you."

Emmeline flushed a muted pink, the sight doing things to Cassius he couldn't express in any polite way. She shook her head. "No I don't mind you touching-"

"The book. The book bothers you." He interrupted her stuttering. The blush that bloomed across her cheeks was an even deeper pink and he couldn't stop himself from running the pad of his thumb over her cheekbone.

She stiffened but said nothing, biting down on her lips as she stared up at him with wide eyes.

If it were anyone else Cassius would've scooped her up and had her against the tree that shaded them from the sun. Thoughts of the sounds he would elicit from her had his breath catching in his chest. Taking a step closer Emmeline stepped backwards, snapping him out of the mist that had clouded his judgement.

No, he couldn't do that. Not with her. It was already complicated enough without him making matters worse. It was pointless to deny his attraction towards his ordained pair, that much was obvious, but he still couldn't marry her.

His parents had made that clear over and over. She wasn't good enough, because an alliance with her family would do nothing to serve their duchy. He tried to repeat the mantra of reasons against their pairing in his head and he took a deliberate stride away from her.

Yet, as he looked at her, he found those reasons harder and harder to remember.

Emmeline shivered a little before she straightened her back and faced him with a steely look.

"Whatever this game is Cassius, I'm not interested in playing it with you." She announced, snatching the book from his hand, and storming away.

It took a few minutes for him to steady his breathing properly. Walking forward he pressed his head against the trunk of the willow tree, closing his eyes and fighting the desire to chase after her.

The idea of following after her, of forcing her to spin and face him, of facing all her righteous anger and kissing her anyways. The moment when she would submit to him would be...

Cassius banged his forehead against the wood with enough force to hurt.

"Sort your shit out." He told himself, banging his head once more for good measure.

...

Emmeline's breath felt trapped in her chest as she thundered across the gardens, away from Cassius Marcellus. What was he playing at? She fumed to herself.

One minute he is trying to touch her hand, then pretending he hadn't, focusing on the book. She felt stupid for her reaction, their brief exchange playing over and over and she walked.

It bothers you- No I don't mind you touching- The book.

The stupid book! She let out a shaking breath, the bodice of her dress feeling suffocating as she fled the scene of her embarrassment.

He had made her look foolish on purpose. The expression on his features when he had stepped closer could've been perceived as desire, but she knew he was only trying to trick her again. Whatever the game was he was playing, she didn't want to be involved. It was bad enough being humiliated by Ottilie at dinner each night, she wouldn't let herself be made a fool of during the day also.

Around and around her thoughts went as she held on tightly to her indignation, repeating her outrage in her head so that she couldn't possibly be distracted by thoughts of that expression he had had when he had moved closer. 

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Author's Notes:

Oh Cassius...

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S x