Why Even Try (Book 1 of 4)

Chapter 17 - I Am Your Prince Too

Loki smiles and helps himself to some tea and we chat for a bit, until it's time for him to get ready. He pulls me to my feet carefully and gives me a hug. He guides my head to rest on his chest; placing one of his hands on the back of my head and the other on my back. I close my eyes and I can feel his heart beat. We sway slightly, and I start to cry. This embrace feels so much different than others.

"What's wrong?" Loki asks, and pulls back and wipes my tears with his thumbs

"Nothing... I just realized that I will probably be the only one who isn't there tonight." I sniff and he pulls me back for another hug.

"You better go, Your Highness..."

"Darling, say the word and I will stay with you..."

Looking into his beautiful eyes, I can see that he wants me to ask him to stay and there's a part of me that wants to ask him to stay, but I cannot bring myself to ask him. He is a Prince of this realm, and he needs to be there.

"Loki, you know I can't do that as much as I want to, you're their prince, and you need to go, you know you need to.." I say.

He makes a pink flower appear and gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves to head to the dance. Once outside of my door he whispers.

"But I am your Prince...too"

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My mom stopped by to make sure I was ok, and Eira gave me the next round of treatments. She assures me that I am healing fine but has hit a snag because of having been given the wrong balms. She needs to go to ball and be with queen.

"What will you do?" she asks me.

"I am going to read a bit...Loki left his book of poetry here and they are amazing... do you know who wrote them or where he got the book?" I ask and she gives me a knowing look, then shakes her head.

"You should ask him, you know how he loves to discuss his books." She says.

There is something she isn't telling me about these, but that's a discussion for another time. Sitting on the terrace reading Loki's poems, and having some tea seems to be good way to pass the time while the rest of the realm is at a dance. I move to stand at the rail and watch the gardens and the stars.

I cannot possibly have to cry again.

This is the first dance that I remember missing. It was just always so much fun to see everyone, all dressed up, the anticipation of who I would get to dance with, and if there were any new people to meet. My angst over not being at the dance is a small price to pay for me being alive. I just didn't know how much it would bother me, not being at the dance. I feel left out and forgotten; so I decide to go to bed. Turning away and heading back into the room, I am startled when I see I Loki before me.

"Loki! What are you doing here?" I ask, " is this an illusion..."

"No, I am here darling." He says and holds a hand out to me.

He is dressed in his black semi formal attire, and looks incredibly handsome; I take his hand. He begins to play with my fingers and amazingly enough I feel fluttering in my stomach.

"You should be at the dance..." I say.

"How do you know I am not?" he says and we laugh as continues to play with my fingers.

"Only you would cast an illusion where tons of people can see through it..."

"People do not really pay attention to me or care of my whereabouts once past the dinner and first dance" He laughs "but I managed to disappear before the then."

"Loki! There are plenty of others you could have danced with" I say, he laughs and shakes his head, then turns back to me.

He moves over to the rail and leans on it a little bit and turns to me. We talk for a bit, and then he grows mischievous.