peter parker/tom holland imagines

i love you, peter b. parker | p.p.

pure angst. that's it lololol

i had this idea in mind for some time but i'm only now just writing it but fr i legit almost cried writing this

we love delulu peter

tw: sad peter

angst (for me) isn't easy to write, but i tried my best here. did you like it???

he knew you were sick, he knew you would leave. but it never really hit him that you would be gone someday, that is, until you were gone. terminal kidney disease wasn't fun, and it most definitely wasn't easy. it didn't matter though, because as long as you had peter by your side, you were sure that nothing would go wrong. that you'd be able to fight through it, because the love of your life was fighting alongside you.

peter was always used to saving everyone, so he felt so utterly useless when he found out. he tried to make you as happy as possible, and to help you do everything that you wanted to do most, and make the most of the time you had left.

he remembered the day he asked you out, and you warned him about the sickness, that you wouldn't be here forever, and that one day, he would have to leave you. no, that you would have to leave him.

but peter being peter hadn't thought that far into the future. he was only 16. he didn't know that he'd grow so attached to you, that you become the one for him.

no. that thought had never occurred.

you had passed in your sleep, at least, age 19. it pained him so much to think about everything you had in store for you.

everything we had.

a life, a future, just waiting.

for all he knew, you were his life. you were his future. so how would he go on? how would he do anything without you? especially when you were his everything?

peter stood next to his aunt, clad in all black, watching your mother scream and cry into your father's shoulder, repeatedly begging for you to come back. he watched her lean down next to the coffin and kiss your hair, whispering sweet nothings. the boy wasn't sure if he'd be able to look at you, to say his goodbyes. because it didn't feel real to him. you couldn't be gone. how could you be gone?

"go, peter," aunt may whispered. "you'll regret it if you don't," her voice was fragile, and he could her the pain in her voice.

"no, no, no, i-i can't-"

"you'll regret it if you don't," she repeated.

so with shaky hands and a heavy heart, he walked over to the black box. there you laid, and he tried to convince himself that you were sleeping.

just sleeping.

he got down on his knees and and looked at you. your hair was perfectly laid out, nails freshly painted. the smallest bit of makeup was on you, but you were a deathly pale. your eyes were closed, but he'd give anything to see those gorgeous hues again, lit up by the liveliness behind them.

"hi, angel," he whispered softly, a strangled sob rising up his throat. "your mom is crying. you should wake up now. didn't we talk about getting more sleep at night? so you wouldn't fall asleep all the time during the day?"

peter chuckled quietly. "baby, i remember that time you fell asleep in mr. nester's class. and you snored? it was so cute. and funny. but mostly cute. they're soft and quiet, but if you're listening, you can hear it. your snores are adorable, you know that? it's hilarious because you always say you don't, y/n, but you do. always. yeah. you always snore. why- why aren't you right now? y-y/n?" he asked, panic creeping in through his words. "why aren't you?"