wasn't me | p.p. // part one

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credit goes to waitimcomingtoo on tumblr (this is 4.8k words+ so i just cut it up)

"Wait, this isn't the kitchen." Vision said as he accidentally phased through the bedroom wall. You and Peter froze at the sound of a third voice and slowly looked up. Every time you snuck off to have some private time with each other, you made sure to lock the door. But despite all your best efforts to keep your relationship a secret, neither of you accounted for Vision coming through the wall. Especially not when you were right in the middle of....something.

"Oh. Hello." Vision said and gave you and Peter a polite wave. The act he had caught you did not seem to phase him at all while you and Peter were horrified.

"AHHHH." You and Peter screamed at the same time. You rolled off of Peter and landed right on the floor while Peter grabbed a pillow and placed it over his lap.

"Forgive me for intruding, but I am looking for the kitchen." She said to meet her in the kitchen." Vision asked politely.

"Well you're not gonna find it here!" You exclaimed as you threw your shirt back on.

"Dude! Get out! " Peter shouted as he hastily tried to zip his pants.

"Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?" Vision genuinely asked.

"YES!" You screamed like it was obvious.

"My apologies. I bid you both a good day." Vision nodded curtly and disappeared back the way he came. You and Peter stayed in silence for a while as you processed what had happened.

"Do you think he saw us?" Peter asked to break the silence. You sat up from under him and gave him a look.

"Do I think he saw us?" You repeated slowly.

"Well do you?" Peter asked as you climbed back onto the bed.

"Are you kidding me? Of course he saw! The straw was already in the coconut. There's no way he didn't realize what was going on."

"Maybe he thought we were just wrestling?" Peter shrugged weakly.

"Uh huh. Wresting with your dick out. Just like WWE." You said sarcastically.

"Damn it. He definitely saw us. Do you think he'll tell anyone?" Peter worried.

"He better not. My dad will kill you. And then vaporize your corpse. And then set the ashes on fire. And then blow them into a shrimp cocktail."

"But I'm allergic to shellfish."

"Exactly." You whispered.

"Oh shit." Peter gulped. "We need to go find Vision and make sure he doesn't tell anyone."

"Let's go. He's probably charging or in a bowl of rice or something."  You said and lead Peter out of the room. You went into the kitchen and found Vision at the breakfast table.

"Hey Vision." Peter smiled awkwardly as you stood beside him.

"Hello, Peter." Vision said politely.

"So, about the little snafu from before. We just want to make sure you don't tell anybody about what you saw." 

"Yeah. Because it wasn't what it looked like." You added.

"Oh, no? It looked like the two do you were engaging in sexually explicit activity." Vision replied. You and Peter exchanged a panicked look and tried to think of a way out of this.

"It looked like that, yes, but that's not what we were doing." Peter lied as you nodded along.

"Hm. That's funny. I can detect  heart rates and both of you appear to be lying." Vision said with genuine curiosity.

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