peter parker/tom holland imagines

abbreviations (blurb) | p.p.

ned shook his head agressively, "no, dude, you don't get it!"

"what?" peter scoffed. 

"if you can't call our country a cunt, then you can't our fraternity a frat!"

you giggled, like a drunk (which you were), and pulled an uncle sam in the back, "i do proudly serve our cunt!"

"oh-kayyy," peter strode over to you, plucking the drink out of your hand, "you are offcially done for the night."

"it's like," you continued, "how people use 'butt' instead of 'buttocks'," kicking your feet.

"that's different!" ned protested, and peter watched simply as the two of you went back and forth with this bickering. 

you gasped dramtically, offended, "how so?!"

"because- because they both sound stupid!" ned yelled, slamming down what was probably his 6th beer at this point. you frowned at the fact that peter took away yours, but not his.

"oh my derrière! you take that back!"

"no!"

"okay, okay," you thought for a second, "how about 'underwear' to 'undies'? that's funny! un-diiiii-ssssssss."

"hmm. maybe," ned scrunched his brows, "unnnn-diiii-ssssss-hhhhh."

you went quiet, and for a moment peter thought you were about to cry. "hey, petey?"

"yeah, angel?"

"look under there."

"huh? under where?"

you burst out screaming and laughing, and it took a moment for peter to understand what it was that got you so riled up. 

"haha. underwear. so funny."

"yeah, y/n," ned scoffed, "you're just so funny with your- your hair and y-your boyfriend... and your... pants!" 

"take that back! my pans are adorbs!"

peter sighed and went into the kitchen to grab two bottles of water, prepared to make the two of you drink all. of. it.