High And Dry

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I sit up with a start, desperately wiping at my face. My face was melting. Its like those drugs again.

Its the drugs. Its the video too.

The door slips open, making me jump, and a nurse looks into the room. She must have heard the beeping thing speed up. They always stress over how fast the beeping goes...

"Sorry, nightmare." I smile at her.

"Goodnight." She sighs, closing the door after her.

In the corner of the room Gerard has gone unnoticed, passed out in the armchair, a cup of coffee in his hand. He must be so tired that the beeping hasnt put him off. I smile at his body in the corner as it shuffles around.

I want to wake him but he is fast asleep by the looks of it.

I slowly lower myself down again into a lying down position and pull the blanket to my chest. Im kind of scared to close my eyes again just in case of whats there waiting for me. The ceiling is so vast and blank. It almost swirls in front of me.

Im tired. Im just tired.

I force my eyes closed and breathe to myself, trying to fill the void with my imagination.

A hand brushes my cheek and I hesitate whether to open my eyes. A weight pushes itself on the edge of my bed and my bed sinks in, making me lean closer to the person. Its Gerard, I know that. He hums, running his finger down the side of my face. Soon I can feel his breath on my face. I decide to quickly open my eyes and lean up to peck his nose.

I open my eyes and lean for his nose but he isnt there. I must have dreamt it.

I sigh and lie back down. Gerards soft breathing in the corner doesnt run smoothly with the time of my heart monitor. His breath is constant whilst sometimes the monitor speeds up. I found out that the beeping was a heart monitor yesterday. I guess you always learn something new. 

I look over at him and he mumbles something in his sleep. He seems so simple to understand, or maybe Ive learnt about him well. His hair flops in his face and a smile is brought to my lips. What Id do to tuck it behind his ear to see his face again...

The drip attached to me is close to its ending, meaning I can go home tomorrow. Hospitals always smell different and weird, so Im excited to get out and smell home properly.

I need to get home.

I close my eyes again.

I feel so unusually calm... Its must be drugs or something.

I open my eyes again and the room is light. I must have fallen asleep.

"Morning." Gerards smile is almost a smirk.

He runs his hand through his hair and I look up to the drip. Its practically empty. Thats a good thing.

"I feel just?" I breathe, pushing myself to sit. "Everything is slow and?"

He laughs and sits on the edge of my bed.

"But also so fast."

I put my hands on my face and laugh at myself.

"How do I sound?"

"Pretty high."

I let myself fall back onto the bed. My back strikes the bed and I feel pain ripple through it. Its okay though because my backs numb. I groan, but chuckle at my stupidity.

"Ive never seen you so... High?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, picking at the tape on my hand.

"And Ive seen you drugged up... Ive even drugged you u-"

"When can I leave, do you think?"

"You can leave now if you wish." A nurse smiles from the door. "Ill get a doctor to come and remove the nodes."

Gerard takes my hand and starts peeling the sticker off. His hand is rough, but not calloused.

"I feel bad." Gerard confesses, looking up from my hand.

I give him a slightly constipated "how come" look as he pulls the needle out my hand.

"Mikeys face."

"Mikey has a nice face." I raise an eyebrow at him.

"I mean the scars on his face, well, soon to be scars."

"In the nicest way possible, there are more scars on Mikey you havent seen and Mikey doesnt want you to know about them."

He peels a node off my arm, in thought.

"Oh wait... He said dont say that... Keep a secret?" I try and rest my head on my knees but Gerard stops me.

He peels a node off of my neck and I tilt my head.

"Dont be sad. Mikey doesnt want you to be sad."

I sigh and Gerard tilts my head towards him to reach the other side of my neck. "Im not sad." He chuckles.

"Dont blame yourself... Like... Dont blame Mikey for leaving me because look at me now..."

"Youre injured."

"But Im high as... As... Anything... And Im safe..."

"You are safe."

He leans against me and the heart monitor speeds up. It takes me no time at all to rip the patch leading me there off my hand and throw it to the floor. I lean back against him with a chuckle.

The door opens and we both sit up straight.

"Im here to remove the nodes." The doctor smiles.

She wonders over and rips off a couple of nodes.

"You have less than usual..."

"I took a head start, I was a doctor and kind of missed the nodes..."

She laughs. "Youre really funny." She doesnt get it.

He smiles as she pulls the final node off.

"Youre free to go. Here are the creams. Take these two pills daily for pain and put this antiseptic on the wounds..."

She talks for a while as I put on my top. I assume Gerard will talk me through it considering I am off my head right now. Maybe I could be more drugged but this is something unseen to me normally and-

Rambling.

Gerard walks next to me as we leave the hospital.

"Hows it been, the whole... Watching me sleep." I smile as we hit the air.

"I was pretty much asleep half that time. This has been such a tiring experience its unreal." Gerard adjusts the bag of meds in his hand.

"I saw you sleep- you looked like you were dead."

"Meaning?"

"I was unsure if you were alive."

"Right..."

"You also looked at peace!" I laugh. "Couldnt see those eyes though."

His eyes are such a nice sort of colour. Theyre deep and strong and easy to read if you try. Truthful.

I let out a giggle and he rings the doorbell.

"Im really trying not to take everything to heart right now as youre completely out of it." He says.

I shrug with a toxic sounding splutter laugh.

"Like... The thing youre doing right now is just-"

Gerard stops his double entendre when he sees Frank raising his eyebrow at the open door.

"She is completely off her head Frankie. Take a look, I think Im catching her giggles."

I smile up at Frank and almost immediately he bursts into laughter.

"Come on, get inside."

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