A million memories of us

A million memories: Nightmares

A\N: As I said in the last chapter, I'm sorry for being so silent due to my personal life but I'm back now and I hope you enjoy this, Angels.

Oneshot 8 title: Nightmares

Oneshot 8 summary: Jenny is having nightmares about their cases.

POV: Third person.

Chapter count: 1.

Director Jennifer 'Jenny, Jen' Shepard can't sleep, but maybe it's better that way so she can't be tortured with nightmares from the past. Even now as a Director, she still has nightmares about the cases she worked, missions she went on that ended badly, countries she visited where murders went unsolved because the police couldn't be assed to get the victim and their family justice. She still retains the memory of her asking Gibbs why there was so much evil in the world.

NCIS Special Agent Jennifer Shepard bolts up in bed, gasping for breath as she looks around her darkened bedroom, her sheets twisted around her. She had another nightmare. A nightmare brought on by the after effects of her job, that was one thing they hadn't told her when she had applied as an agent, or that sleep was pretty much non-existent, especially if you're on Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs' team but since starting at NCIS, she's glad she doesn't get too much sleep because it means the nightmares don't happen all that often, something she's grateful for.

Untwisting her sheets from her body, the redheaded agent looks at the time on the clock that's sitting on her bedside table. She groans as she reads the time in bold red numbers: 0330. it's only 0330 and already she can tell it'll be a long and exhausting one, she just hopes they don't get a murder case today, but with the Navy, you never know. Throwing her sheets off of her, Jenny gets out of bed and walks downstairs to the kitchen and makes herself one of the many coffees she'll most likely consume today. She looks out of her kitchen window at the pitch black sky. She sighs as she leans against the island, her coffee cup cradled against her chest.

She had no idea when she would feel the side effects of being a field agent to hit her like they have, or start tearing up at every murdered victim they come across. Her team have all told her that the emotions will get easier to bury and ignore once she's been with them for more than the six months that she has.

She's sipping her fifth cup of coffee by the time she walks into the MCRT bullpen at 7 am, un-surprised to see Gibbs working at his desk, a cup of coffee beside his keyboard. "Morning Boss." She says tiredly as she walks past him to her desk which is opposite his and sitting down, swallowing her mouthful of sugary coffee. Gibbs doesn't look up from his paperwork when he responds to her greeting. "Thought I told you to take the morning off." He says gruffly Jenny sighs internally. After their latest case was wrapped up and the killer had confessed, thanks to her holding her knife to their throat and threatening to slit their throat slowly and painfully, Gibbs had told the team to take the morning off. Jenny shrugs, not wanting to tell her boss about her nightmares, she doesn't want him to see her as weak and like she can't handle being a field agent. "Reports need to be written and I don't think Morrow will take well to an agent who's only been here six months threatening to slit a suspect's throat in interrogation." She says as she takes a gulp of her coffee, avoiding looking at her boss. "Shepard, look at me." Her boss orders and Jenny can't help but obey her gruff boss. Their eyes meet and his icy blues narrow. "You having nightmares, Shepard?" He asks, obviously knowing the answer. Jenny groans and nods her head. Damn it, how does he know? I'm wearing cover up to hide the bags underneath my eyes! The agent thinks to herself as she watches Gibbs stand up from his desk and come around hers, pulling her off the chair and into his arms. "God Gibbs, everything we see, everything victim we see, everything is ingrained in my mind, locked behind a vault, waiting to be opened so they can torture me. Why is there so much evil in the world?" She asks, knowing she won't get an answer, at least not a true answer anyway, but it feels good to ask someone who has seen so much in his lifetime that he doesn't deserve to have seen. Gibbs sighs as he lays his cheek atop of her head. "I really don't have an answer for that question, Shepard, I wish I did but I don't." Shepard just sighs and melts into her boss' embrace.

Someday she'll get the answer to the question. She'll make sure of it.

Someday.

Jenny comes out of the memory with a yawn. To this day, he's still not given her answer, but she doesn't expect him to, no one can answer questions they don't know the answers to. 

A\N: I'm so sorry that this took me ages to write,Angels, I've been reading so many FFs that I forgot to update mine. Anyway this will be my only update today as it's nearing midnight here in the UK, enjoy, Angels.