What world do I live in
I've seen children in foreign countries being killed
I've seen hospitals be the target of bombing
I've seen innocent lives taken too soon
I've seen babies being taken from their crying mothers arms
I've seen healthcare made illegal
I've seen LGBTQ+ individuals murdered
I've seen more racism than unity
I've seen towers hit by planes
I've seen concerts being exploded with innocent people inside
I've seen more school shootings than ever in history
I've seen my mother weep openly for children that aren't hers
I've seen my friends become victims of rape
I've seen children have to give up education to make money for food
I've seen children starve to death when there's enough food for everyone
I've seen wars that only ever end in more conflict
I've seen children bullied into suicide
I've seen thousands of people become the victim of genocide
I've seen transgender people denied life saving hormones
I've seen gay people denied the right to adoption
I've seen indigenous people kicked out of restaurants
I've seen Hispanic people removed from their own homes
I've seen people get deported from their whole life
I've seen the fetishization of Asian people
I've seen immense amounts of cultural appropriation
I've seen drug addicts beg for help and be denied
I've seen homeless people in tents outside of city hall
I've seen dogs and cats be purposely hit by cars
I've seen people step off the edge of the subway tracks just before the train arrives
I've seen people jump off the Golden Gate Bridge
I've seen people become hostages of war simply for existing
I've seen single mothers be arrested for stealing diapers
I've seen people starve while their neighbours bathe in wine and rum
I've seen crowds of people come together to protest and be met with no change
I've seen police kneel on a black man's neck
I've seen Christians spread hate in the word of God
I've seen people be arrested for being gay
I've seen monsters be elected for nations power
I've seen the richest of the rich do shady shit to get richer while the rest of the world rots in poverty
I've seen grown men and women cry when their partner commits adultery
I've seen most married people divorce
I've seen muslims killed during prayer
I've seen children kicked out of their homes for coming out
I've seen people drop out of university because the money isn't enough
I've seen famous people get away with everything
I've seen young teens spread hate like it's the new big thing
I've seen parents teach their kids to hate anyone who doesn't look like them
I've seen Canada be charged with cultural genocide
I've seen huge social media platforms give the same light to hate and love
I feel like I've seen it all, and I'm only 18 years old.
There's this idea that one cannot make change alone, that you must have an army of people to make change. But it's wrong. I alone can create change. I alone can defy the odds. If I alone stand for change, then change will occur, because I will not sit back down until it happens. I alone stand for change, and even in my solitude I know there are others. There are other people in this world like me who stand alone for change. I will not sit, I do not wish to sit.
I am a privileged white man, I know that my struggles do not match those around me, but I will not rest when I know others are not being treated with the same respect as me. I have done nothing to deserve automatic respect. My skin, my gender, they do not deserve respect. And still it is given without a second thought. Why me? What have I done? What hasn't everyone else done? I was taught to give the same respect I'd give my grandmother to a stranger. My eyes don't care what colour your skin is, or what gender you identify as, you will be met with kindness and respect unless you have done something that does not deserve kindness or respect.
And I don't understand the hate. I can't comprehend where it comes from or why. I can't wrap my head around being racist, and I can't understand why anyone else is. I just can't believe it. I'm ashamed of my own ancestors. I'm ashamed of my own history. Why would I hate a black man? An Asian woman? A Hispanic person? An indigenous two spirt? Why would I hate any of them? Why? There is no reason. There was never any reason.
I want to make change. I don't want to live in a world of hatred. If I ever have children they will be taught love, not hate. And they won't just be told "be good to black people." Or, "don't be racist." They will be taught correctly. They will have it explained to them in detail. They will know empathy, and they'll know that what they say and what they do affects people. They'll know the power behind hate, and they'll love everyone equally just as their father did.
And I'm tired of being called the argumentative child. If we have to argue over the rights of people of colour, then you're fighting for the wrong side. There should be no argument. I stand for the people, the people means everyone. I'm tired of my own family being racist. I'm tired of having this same fight with my own blood. If my blood can look at humans and only feel hatred; if my own blood can be racist, then I don't want my blood. It ends with me.
And I'll never stop fighting until I see change. I'll never sit down. I'll never rest. I don't want to rest, not when I know there are people in this world who aren't able to rest. I don't want to stop fighting when there are people in this world who can't stop fighting. I want peace for everyone. All people.
Everyone says there is power in my writing. That there is great boldness from my words. That they've never met someone so young who could write so well. But is there? Is there really? If my words hold so much power, so much so that it moves people to tears, then why am I still here writing the same thing. Same topic different words. In every inch of my soul I want peace for everyone. In every word I write I hold hope that tomorrow will be different.
And I'm angry. I feel rage. Rage, and I'm not even the victim. Outraged to see innocent people be the victim of hate. I am enraged, furious, and I do not understand why nobody else is. My heart is so sensitive it bursts with everything I see. I weep openly for people I don't even know. I sob in anger and I'm not even the victim.
This world could be beautiful. Kind souls do exist. I know they exist because I exist and I am kind. This world could be so peaceful, we could all unit as the one human race. But some people don't care for change. Some people fight against change for their own benefit. I don't want to live in a world filled with hate.
And if I live my whole life fighting for change; If I spend the rest of my days using every breath to spread love; then that is a life worth living. I will die standing for change.
And if you find yourself thinking a racist thought, or holding you bag a little tighter when a black man enters the elevator, or you find yourself thinking ugly thoughts when a Black Lives Matter activist speaks, I urge you to dig deep within yourself and ask why. Because I don't know why, and I'm sure you don't either. When you come out with no answer, ask yourself how you'd feel. How would it feel to simply exist and have everyone around you think ugly thoughts of you. It would be paralyzing. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself. That's how you make people feel. You make people feel like they aren't good enough when they are.
It's so simple yet people make it sound so hard. They make it out to sound like racism is normal, and that it will always be there. Why? Why is it so normal? Why will it always be there? Why is it so hard for people to just not be racist? If you use your age as an excuse, you are admitting that with age you lose the ability to grow as people. This is not true. No matter what age you are, you are capable of changing your views. No matter who you are, you are capable of just changing your own thoughts. If you are racist, you alone can end it from you. You could be one small step, but enough small steps means change. Enough small steps and you'll eventually make it to the finish line.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but when the sun rises on a new day I will fight the same fight. I do not want to stop, not until there is peace for all. Everyone. And I will live long enough to see change, or I will die standing.
