Our Secret Journey

Chapter 3

Amy's POV

I stood, there staring at my seat, why in gods green earth do I have to sit next to Ricky.

He broke my heart, but he sad thing is I still have feelings for him, not just hatred and anger, or because he's my baby's father, not even pregnancy hormones.

I slid into my seat, without looking at him or saying a word. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Wait is he staring at me. Does he have something to say?

I mean I heard a rumor from Madison and Lauren that ever since he got back from band camp he has been seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone too. It's going around the whole school, everyone wants to know, from what I've heard he's been the school player since last year. So why'd he stop?

"Hey Amy." The band teacher said standing in front of my desk. "Morning sir. Did you need something?" He gave me a pointed look, like he knew something that I didn't want others knowing, did he know?

"Sorry I had to sit you next to Ricky here, I figured he could learn a few things from a kind heart like you."  I just gave him a nod and a kind smile.

Great, just great. I met our band teacher when I went to band camp. He seemed super nice so I guess I can deal with Ricky.

He walked back to the front and started talking to the class, I mainly zoned out, staring down at my desk.

How did this even happen? Why me? Why out of all the girls he's been with did it have to be me? I'm 15 for crying out loud, I can't be a mom. I can't be having a baby. How can you love and hate someone at the same time, because I hate him, I hate Ricky. My life it over, he ruin my life.

Even if I did get an abortion I would have to tell my parents and they would never forgive me. They would kick me out, Ashley wouldn't forgive me, I would be breaking up our family. Everything is ruined. I just want someone to hold me right and say everything will be okay.

I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt a tear land on my sleeve. I wiped my tears and laid my head in my arm on top of the table. I moved my hair to the left to help hide my face from Ricky. Luckily we were in the way back so nobody could notice.

"Okay, so you are each going to talk with the person next to you, we need to get to know each other better so that we don't have this tense atmosphere in the room, this is band, it's supposed to be fun. The questions to answer are on the board." The teacher announced.

Great now I have to talk to Ricky, perfect.

I turned my head at Ricky, not looking at him, not meeting his eyes, just staring down at the table.

I felt lifeless, emotionless, I felt dead to be honest.

"So..." was all I said, not knowing what to do. "Amy... I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about what happened at band camp. I would like us to be friends." He whispered only loud enough for the two of us to hear.

What? Does he know? Is that why he's been staring at me? For the first time since band camp I was able to look up at him in the eyes.

"It's fine." Was all I could muster. "So friends?" He questioned. "Friends" I said a slight smile. "So... what's your favorite food to cook?" He asked reading a question off the board.

"I can't cook unless it's a really awful spaghetti." I joked. If I'm keeping this baby I'm going to need to know how to cook.

"Maybe I could teach you some time." He said. Wait is he asking me out? The thought made me smile for a moment. "Maybe you could." I whispered.

I felt a sudden sickness. I stood up, and slipped out the door. I ran over to a trash can that was out side in the hall and threw up. Great morning sickness. I was having a hard time hold back my hair, until I felt hands hold it back for me.

"Are you okay?" I turned my head to the left, to see Ricky, he followed me, wow I wasn't expecting that.

I stood up once I was done, I felt my hair fall back down as he let it go. "here" Ricky said and handed me some napkins.

I wipe lid my mouth and threw it away. I walked over to the lockers and slid down them, not wanting to go back to class.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I bent my knees, rest my arms and head on top. I turned my head in it's right side, facing away from a scared looking Ricky. Why is he still here? He needs to go back to class.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concern laced in his voice.

That's when I whispered those two little words that would change both our lives for good. "I'm pregnant." More tears fell once I said it. I didn't want it to be true but it was. The harsh reality finally setting in.

"What?" Ricky's voice cracked. I felt him sit cross-cross next to me. We just sat there in silence for a couple minutes.

"What do you want to do?" Ricky asked, turning his head towards me.

I turned my head back towards him. "I don't know, if I have an abortion I would have to tell my parents, and they'll hate me, so will me sister but no matter what I do my life is over." I said letting more tears fall.

He took my hand in his. "I'm so sorry Amy. I shouldn't have slept with you at band camp, I shouldn't have gone near you. It's all my fault." A tear slid down his cheek.

"It's both our faults" was all I said before resting my head in his shoulder. He rubbed soft calming circles on my hand.