Chapter 35

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The hue of the sun had returned, the dawn taking over the sky but her eyes were pitch black as Estella walked back to her home hoping that what she saw and was thinking wouldn't be true. Her home was the most memorable place in the whole world, filled with memories of her parents, the sole reason why she moved back after college, and even her job for not wanting to live separately. 

The fear was taking a solidifying turn when numerous people were seen clustered together right in front of her and she struggled to even take a look at her house. 

The firetruck had retreated and she heard the mutterings of people around her, glancing at her pitifully. The charred image of her house looked dreadful when she stared, the garden thankfully unaffected due to the rain that had happened before. 

She was approached by a fireman who was questioning her or telling her the condition of her house, she barely registered his words. Every part of her body hurt but the heartache was the worst. 

The voice of the fireman had died down and she absently nodded her head as if she heard his instructions and suggestions to not go in. She wanted to be alone. Just her and her haven. 

The fire had started from the kitchen by the looks of it. It was destroyed to ashes, the gas leak furthering it to the living room. The wallpaper was charred, its color black was screaming so silently about the emptiness, that her ears might bleed. 

She walked past the burnt couches, the water beneath her feet splashing on the half-burnt carpet, overlooking a broken family photo frame that was now gone.  

She sat on the last steps of the stairs, her legs circled with her arms, living the moments of Jay and Lilah, smiling at the ones that brought her joy and relief. 

The stomping of shoes brought her back from the memory lane, and she looked up, the face of her tormenter back. She flared her nose, glaring at his audacity of showing his face. Her feet broke into a run and she grabbed his collar, tears streaming down and she started crying, hysterically.

 He stood there silently, unmoving when she kept hitting his chest, shouting 'Why?' Over and over again.

.... 

"Let us not fight anymore," he had said after a while. It was morning and Estella was in her room, the only part of her house that the firemen could save. The side of the window was soaking, small pools forming at every corner. 

She looked at the remainder of her belongings, grabbing and collecting whatever she could save. A couple of unruined polaroids, a snowglobe from Jay, a hand-beaded necklace and partially burned newly knitted gloves from Lilah. 

"I got ourselves some coffee." He called her again.

"Get the hell out of my face," she said, her back facing him.

"Burning down this house was just the beginning," he said. "I can do more." 

She wiped her face, the dry tears and red nose made her look sicker. "You're pathetic and disgusting and I can't stand the sight of you. So keep going cause you don't scare me. " 

"You think I enjoy doing this to you?" 

"I expect nothing less than that from you." She said. "You're goddamn insane." 

The coffee cups in his hands shook slightly and he averted his eyes, closing them in anger. She turned her back on him, caring no more as she occupied herself in her work. 

"I made a mistake," she heard him say. "I apologize." 

"NO!" She shouted, facing him again. "I made a mistake and I apologize for not recognizing you." 

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