You're My Biggest Mistake

Chapter 29

Kim Taeyeon's Point of View

A few weeks passed, and I guess Baekhyun decided to completely ignore my existence like how I used to ignore his, tirelessly pushing him away. Since the very day he woke up and told his friends that he didn't want to see me "in the meantime," I was torturing myself not to come even near the hospital he's staying at. I never put myself in his shoes before, but I learned that it doesn't feel the very best having someone constantly run through my mind, unaware if he's doing well or if he's hurting.

I receive timely updates from Kyungsoo about Baekhyun and his ongoing rehab, and I can tell that Baekhyun's having a hard time keeping up with the pace of the healing process. It hurts me to see him suffering, but it'll always end with blaming myself for putting him in that situation and the endless what-ifs.

What if I had just run to him when I was hurting? What if I had just stood up for him 'til the end? What if I had just been open with my feelings? 

Our groups are currently on hiatus because of what happened to Baekhyun. The industry was silenced for only a day, then come their news articles and stories talking about our relationship once again, which doesn't help a damn thing at all.

I lift my hand to grab a baseball cap and finish my look. Even though I know that everyone will dislike me if I see Baekhyun—even Baekhyun himself, I drive myself to the hospital because I don't want anyone to make decisions for me anymore.

I ask the front desk about Baekhyun, and I was hoping to hear something about him or even get a room number. Instead, all I hear is that he has been discharged and only returns on scheduled days for his rehab and physical therapy.

I go back to my car and call Kyungsoo to ask about Baekhyun. He picks up with a frantic voice and a noisy background, "Baekhyun went somewhere without letting any of us know, and now we can't get a hold of him."

"Shit," I utter under my breath and drive away—I don't know where but at least somewhere.

I crack my head open, thinking where can he be when he was out of a coma just weeks ago. I began calling his phone and realized that this was my first time pressing his name on my contact list after a year.

He can't be out drinking somewhere, can he?

My guts tell me to go to the pub that he and his group usually would go to for a celebratory drink. As soon as I get out of my car, the night air hits my skin, so I hug my jacket tightly around my torso. I push the glass door and walk my way down the stairs to look for any signs of Baekhyun.

He can't even take his liquor well. Why would he drink alone? Am I at the wrong place?

As I turn to head back to my car, I notice three girls at the bar creeping on one person seated on a stool in front of them. They're wearing skin-tight dresses with their hair styled painstakingly.

I sneak a peek over the girls' shoulders. The moment I see even the tiniest thread of someone's hair, I would immediately know if it's Baekhyun. Well, I'm already looking at him. His face is flushed red, his eyes are out of focus, and he's clearly not in his right mind for letting three girls stay within his radar when he's the type to even loathe his fans for crossing boundaries.

I push them away and face Baekhyun. One of the girls takes my cap off and taunts, "Who even are you?" My hair starts falling into place, so they hunch over to name who I am, "It's Kim Taeyeon." 

I hold both of Baekhyun's shoulders and make him look at me, "Byun Baekhyun. Are you okay? Can you hear me?" I look at the bartender and ask, "How much did he drink?"

"He's had five to six glasses of whiskey," he answers while wiping rocks glasses with a white cloth.

I shut my eyes tight and clench my jaw in an attempt to not beat the shit out of Baekhyun. I blow strands of hair out of my face and place Baekhyun's right hand around my neck to help him stand up, but the girls shove me away and help Baekhyun leave the place instead.

I can't fight against them with Baekhyun in fear of getting everyone's attention on us. Plus, I'm currently outnumbered and can't catch up with their pace even though they're wearing heels. I get my phone out of my back pocket and am about to call Kyungsoo for help when a giant passes by me. I follow to see where it goes, then I realize that the "giant" is Chanyeol.

"Let go of him this instant," he dominates, scaring the living hell out of the girls.

In the blink of an eye, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and I are in my car. Chanyeol buckles up, "Aren't you going to start the car?" I crank my car and turn the heat up, especially where Baekhyun is seated.

The whole ride is silent with Baekhyun's grunts until Chanyeol breaks the ice by looking at me and asking, "Are you confident you won't hurt him again, Taeyeon?"

I stop the car at the red light and think about his question.

Am I confident that I won't hurt Baekhyun? Honestly, no, but I'm confident I won't leave him like I did before.

I don't know how to answer Chanyeol's question without inadvertently hurting him. I'm also a friend, so I understand where he's coming from. He's only looking out for his friend because, thanks to me, he probably witnessed Baekhyun at his lowest and doesn't want it to happen again.

The light goes from red to green, so I step on the gas to reach Baekhyun's condo. Chanyeol seems to be disappointed that I've failed to reply to his one question as he hangs his head and sighs.

We arrive at Baekhyun's condo, and I see Chanyeol unbuckle his seatbelt. Before he could go out and assist Baekhyun—who's wasted and passed out—to his room, I give Chanyeol my word, "I love him, Chanyeol. I've always loved him, and I'll always love him." I bit my inner cheeks to prevent myself from crying. I'm being too honest about my feelings, but this is how I really felt and have been feeling since Baekhyun came into my life. I let out a sigh before asking Chanyeol, "Please let me prove that I am better than I was three years ago to you and Baekhyun. I only want Baekhyun back, and I was too foolish to have let go of him before."

He looks at me with a pained expression on his face, "You gotta do this on your own, and you better not fall through."